TO MOVIE FAN
In the version of "Turkish delight" I saw, she gives it a good grunt and
you can hear a plop, but he doesn't fish her turd out (maybe it was edited
out of the US version). There is one scene, though, where rutger is in jail
and he escapes, leaving a goodbye message written in shit in his cell.
Hi folks, great to be back! I found two more movies. In "Walking and
Talking" there is a scene where the girlfriend holds her boyfriend's
wang while he pees, for those of you into that sort of thing. And also,
in "1-900" there is a scene where she has to go pee while on the phone.
. Although its a foriegn film and she is speaking in swedish or something,
her sing-songy voice is adorable. The scene is pretty long. She goes in and
sits down and is too shy to pee. She grunts and pushes and there are a
couple of faint plops. Finally, he convinces her he has put the phone
under the sofa and she is able to tinkle, with him secretly listening of
And as for the latest hiking experience, I was a bit reckless.
Usually if I'm in mid dump when someone walks up, I can't be accused of
being an exhibitionist, since it was they who discovered me, not the
other way around. This time, however, I was biking along a trail and
pulled over for the usual offload. I was around a corner backing my
rear end up to a rock wall when I heard female voices. Just then, two
cuties came around the corner carrying maps. "Excuse me" I said, as I
thought it was pretty obvious what I was about to do. They just
continued past me 15 or 20 feet and started comparing their map with
the cliff face. Without unbuttoning my jeans, I squatted down for a few
seconds, leaving no doubt about my next move. I expected them to
quickly disappear, but to my amazement, they stayed. Well, if they
want to stay for the show, I'll giv'em one, I thought. I unbuttoned my
pants and pulled them down, and stared at the ground so they could
sneak as many glances at me as they wanted. Casually, I took my time
unloading 3 or 4 logs and got my paper out of my pocket. I slowly
wiped twice and stood up, feeling their eyes upon me. I heard them
jump a bit at the sight of my pile. I pulled up my pants, and threw some
leaves over it so as not to litter up the trail. Since they were standing
next to my bike, I thought I'd start up a little conversation with them,
so they can see that I'm a relatively normal guy, obviously not following
our antiquated social customs. "How are you?", I asked. "We're just
documenting all the little activities that happen here along the trail....so
we can make a better park system". "Cool" said I. "are you with some
kind of a class? because I saw 15 or so other people carrying maps."
"Yes" they said, and don't you just know that they are going to
announce their unique experience to the whole college classroom! And
thus, whether the professor likes it or not, my little lesson in social
change will end up being added to his curriculum! I can see it now! I
then wrapped things up and said goodbye, so as not to make them feel
uncomfortable and was on my way!
Hi all! As mentioned in my last post I have been working all last night. 2-days work in one go. It's 10.45 am now and I'm about to go to bed to catch up on some sleep! Did not have time to add the following in my post yesterday:
Outhouse Scott: I enjoy your posts, but I was amazed at the latest one. You pour scorn on your penis! I am grateful for mine. Like you I often wake up with an erection that makes it difficult to pee at first. But think of it, if you did not have an erection you'd most likely wake up in a wet bed! It's known as being "Piss hard" and is natures way of preventing you wetting yourself while sleeping. (I'm sure there is a female equivalent built into their plumbing). But I'm glad to have that safeguard while I sleep, even if I have to wait for the erection to subside (which is not much more than a minute or so anyway) before I take my first pee of the day. I'd rather have a penis than not. I've always been grateful that I'm a guy - as when desperate outside I can find a place to pee (not always possible because I have had accidents), whereas women don't have that option so readily available, making them far more prone to accidents than us guys. Getting erections at inappropri! ate times can be an occasional and embarassing problem, but that's something I've learned to deal with. Aiming has not been a particular problem for me. Sometimes I've missed if I've not pulled my foreskin sufficiently clear of the urethral opening - causing the stream to deflect. I just can't fathom out what problems your penis causes you when dumping. Mine is not particularly big, so in colder weather, when it's smaller still, I do have to make sure I'm physically directing it downwards, otherwise when I pee as I dump it can shoot between the seat and the top of the pot and go into my pants and underwear around my ankles. But these are things I do without particularly thinking about it. I've never caught mine in my zip. I make sure it's safe in my underpants before zipping up. Any guys who get theirs caught in the zip by not wearing underpants have only themselves to blame. I personally think it is terribly unhygienic not to wear underpants. So I round off my spiel, to you! Scott, by saying I am thankful I am a guy with a penis. I'd never ever want to be without it. My heart goes out to those guys who through penile cancer have had to have theirs removed. The very thought sends shivers up my spine. I'd be devastated to lose my penis! I'm thankful for it!
That's it for now. I must get some sleep.
Hello girls and boys!
SARAH S AND MEGHAN: Hello sweeties! You are so lovely girls! So what are your majors in college apart from knees on wees and stand up pees, :-)? Do you pee standing up as well outside and on the toilet or just in the shower? I had my Ďcoming outí as a standing pisser to a friend this weekend! LOL. It was wonderful weather and we went for a walk along a lake and a big beer in the beer garden (gosh, we are so German...). On the walk back we had to pee and went into the woods. Unfortunately there was no "deep into the woods" as we kept crossing paths and people walking by. With this weather everyone was out. My friend gave up after a while and just squatted on a semi private spot next to big tree and had a long urgent wee, while I stood guard. She said she does prefer the comfort of a toilet, not having to expose your bottom. So I said, well I have got a trick and produced the travelmate after she finished and peed against the tree. She just laughed and said "I see, thatís ! why you donít mind". She asked how much it costs and agreed it might be practical. She sounded though as if ordering it online would be too much hassle and she would get one if you could buy it in a drugstore. Maybe she was just a bit embarrassed. She also asked me though if I had already written something in the snow...! I just grinned and went "mmh". She giggled and asked what I wrote. I said I drew a big feminist sign, LOL, no, not really. We laughed and joked a bit and then changed the subject. Would be cool if I convinced her as well; but she was or played not being too interested. It was interesting to just pee that way in front of somebody. Are you that open with your friends?
I was very sorry to hear you were unwell, Sarah! I hope you are tip top by now. Thanks for your caring thoughts, I am much better.
I would love to hear some more about your mom, if you would like to tell some. She sounds like one of the great English ladies, with probably a wild and wicked sense of humour. I have got some good friends like that, some in the age group of your parents. Your mom was and would be probably very proud about her warm hearted, lovely girls. I look forward to each of your posts. Lots of lovexxxx and hugs from Ina
ROBBIE AND ANNIE: Some more members of the sweet family! Thank you so much for your nice words. It meant a lot to me! Great to hear you are having fun over there. So Annie, I was enjoying to hear that you gave Sir a hand...Lol. How did it go? Do you also pee together? Are you also a musician? Robby, can we hear more about your outside pee, you mentioned to Rizzo, with the neighbours passing by? That would interest me- duh, did I have to mention that? :-). By "us people", I meant people on this site rather than designers; see, bad writing on my side. But itís nice to hear you think about the designers as well. I have seen a very funny short film on a student festival about the topic:
It was called "For you, my heart". A young couple spent their first night together. Itís obvious there is great sympathy on both sides. The next morning the guy has to leave early for work and tells her she can sleep longer and should just close the door behind her when she leaves. She gets up a bit later and is casually looking around in his flat, you know a bit between interested and nosy when you are alone somewhere. She finds a book about Karma Sutra. Next scene we see her on the loo reading and taking a good dump. When she has finished the toilet does not flush, due to building repair works. She is desperate and tries to find water somewhere but no sucsess, everything cut off...Then she is shown going into the bathroom with two plastic bags and paper. Next thing we just hear her going "eeewh", and can guess what she is doing...She comes into the kitchen with a big load in her plastic bag. She puts the bag on the table and looks for something to write, leaving a piec! e of paper with her phone number and the words "for you, my heart". Then she leaves closing the door behind her- and has of course forgotten the bag on the table, next to her note! She is of course dying of embarrassement, but canít go back! The last scene you see the water supply being switched on again and she has of course, as it can happen, left a tap unclosed flooding the place. - The film is very well paced as well and itís hilarious. The whole cinema was dying with laughter. Thought you might enjoy the story.
I would love to hear you sing!
Thanks for your concern as well! I am much better. It was really just haemorrhoids, I think. I took some suppositories which helped much better than the cream I took first. I donít know whatís worse, having to ask for them at the pharmacists or inserting them. I always feel like my ring wants to say "out" not "in". LOL. I think they were also made worse by a one night stand with a guy, who was too big for me- no misunderstandings: traditional way but still...I should leave my fingers from the boys...
Hope you are all very well and a big hug and love XXX to you .
TIM AND SARAH: How lovely to hear, you two are having a good time and enjoy some fun. Thatís so nice. - Yes I do unfortunately still have problems with bulimia. Itís not as bad anymore as it used to be, but I sometimes fall back into it when I am under lots of stress. I saw a psychologist but it did not help in the long run. I always think I should do something, but it is difficult to find a start. I donít know how you could help me, but itís very nice to hear you care. Thank you so much. I wish you too so much the best. Love from Ina.
LOUISE: Hi dear, keep the fun up thatís the main thing. I liked your story in the bath. I donít think I could do that with my friends! I also was very delighted to read about when you showed the girls in the alley your skill. I would have loved to get a private lesson, LOL. Keep writing your nice stories, both of you. Love from Ina
OUTHOUSE SCOTT: Hi there, I like reading your stories. Sorry to hear your member is giving you a hard time ;-). I have to say my penis envy has vanished since I have my own tool which seems to be more reliable, according to your words. Just one question: If you are finding it a hassle to aim, why donít you just sit down??? In your words "whatís the big deal?".
Very interesting to hear about guys problems as well. It helps to understand the other sex, which is good. Itís like I learned why men (and woman) have to pee against something when standing, cause itís more splatter otherwise. Itís good to find out about the other sideís view. Did you write the story about the wees and poos on the beach with your wife. I loved those. All the best to you, Ina
PRUDE: Sorry, but why donít you just "urinate off" and lurk on a site you find less offensive. How many toddlers are reading this, huh? I donít get people who pretend like somebody is forcing them to read things. Have fun somewhere else then.
LAST BUT NOT LEAST, CARMELITA: HI, sweet girl! Nice to see you back. Sorry to hear about your pain. Remember being jolly again, does not mean you are forgetting!
I had a nice cyber buddy dump with you, reading your story while dropping a good pile. Hope you donít mind, but I guess you had a guest already. Mine was medium and easy to pass. I just eat mainly vegetables and drink a lot to keep it smooth at the moment. Great to hear you got it all out. Must have been a good relieve. I must go now, hope to speak to you again soon. Best wishes to everyone in your great household. Lots of love and hugs from Ina.
Stay well all!
Ever laughed so hard you dropped a poo out? I did it again the other night. Liz, one of my workmates and a dead ringer for Heather Graham!, came round for a drink and after measuring the length of our skirts (she had a black micro-mini and I had a tiny 9 inch denim mini so I won!) we had a few drinks and got a bit sozzled. We started talking about farting and she let out a cute quietish fart and started giggling. I put my hands on my bum and squeezed, and fired a succession of deep trumps that sounded like bullet-fire! We both cracked up and I was so laughing so hard I dropped out 2 turds on the floor - pretty hard and dead cute. I left them for Paul to see when he came home and he cracked up too!!
Anyone got any similar stories about laughing poos?
I've not had a chance to write regularly, so this will be a
major posting for all my friends! I've also been getting error messages -- I've been trying to post this for two days! I hope it goes up this time maybe in two parts...
LOUISE -- You're absolutely right, I'm very proud of our Kendal
hitting one end of the bath from the other -- it's a bit of fun
I well know!
Oh, how I would love to see Steve's digital masterworks of your
artillery-practice across the pool! Your description was as
sharp as the images. I've just started dabbling with digitals
too, not sure yet quite how it's done but I'll learn! Mmm -that
situation with the youngster who wandered into the bathroom
while you were in mid-volley. Oh, I'd have been somewhere
between mortified and, as you mentioned, cheap-thrilled... There
was no door-lock, or was it that you simply didn't use it from
force of habit (by having an open bathroom policy at home)? I
must say, it was a bit rough that the kid's dad didn't close the
door again -- to say sorry and close the door would have been
the automatic response for almost anyone... Maybe he was
enjoying the view and decided to play the moment for all it was
worth? Hmmm. And I can really appreciate your juggling act
trying to keep a short towel I place with one hand while wiping
with the other, let alone washing your hands afterward. Almost
always, when I'm toweling my hair after a shower, the towel
wrapped around my body will work loose and fall off, which is
okay in the warm weather!
"I blushed a bit because I did not know if the dad was
embarrassed because his son saw me like that, so I was
embarrassed too. LOL. It may be they liked what they saw, me
bending over from the side."
I know I would, dear, and so would a lot of your friends here,
but total strangers are always an unknown quantity... Your last
gush of the day at the pool, backward into the pool, was very
"primal," really, an amazing sort of look-back -- wow...
GRIN -- Yeah, I bet they could have had the fires out here in
Aus weeks earlier if they'd brought the WSPC together with an
infinite supply of bottled water and lined us up on the back
ramp of a Herc...
STEVE & LOUISE -- Hi Steve -- I really loved that masthead photo
of the girl backed up to the urinal too, for all the obvious
reasons. I remember that sports teacher you mention, and it's
amazing to visualize you and she all those years ago. The photo
offers at least a hint! I've always been amazed at her open way,
she must have made her kids feel very much part of a group, a
group in which there were few mental barriers.
I'm so glad you and Louise have taken the responsible,
supportive, caring stand you have for Eleanor (though I'd have
expected no less). I felt so helpless here on the far side of
the world, all I could think was how I would put myself between
her and her brother if I was there. Maybe that would do no good
in the end. It's an awful situation.
STEVE -- "I'll tell you one thing I did notice, that up to now I
really haven't been consciously aware of. I really don't know
how it has escaped me for so long, and that is the feminine
scent that rose from the bathwater after both Louise's mother
and Louise herself tinkled into the water. As visual spectacles,
both women standing and urinating into the bathwater were
stunning. Good sound effects as well <snicker>, but I think it
must have been your discussions of 'she-wee' smells that must
have made me take notice and detect the difference. Yes, there
is one! Definitely! I really have no idea why I've failed to
pick up on this before. Amazing."
I'm so glad others have noticed! I noticed the difference in the
way my urine-smell immediately wafts across the smell of a
(used) male urinal, and makes me wonder what the next men in
will think if they are sensitive enough to notice the
difference. Your nasal apparatus is obviously so! It must be
delightful to -- literally -- find yourself bathing in the
generous output of two fabulous women, aroma and all
Louise -- sorry I didn't get a chance to write back right away
on your Scotland trip -- see narrative above!
Moving right along: I must say, I was surprised that the weather
in the UK was warm enough at this time of your for you to go out
in a minidress without even tights -- you must be having an
uncommonly warm winter there, just as we're having the coolest
summer in decades (only three days above 35C so far, against 17
last year). Still, one thing girls do well is "be cold in
silence," in the name of looking great -- and when you have good
legs the impulse is to show them -- I know (almost-modest
I could really visualize your stand-up aimed at the wall, it was
absolutely classic and beautiful. There is something magnificent
about a woman standing up straight and doing her business in
precisely the same way as her man, side-by-side -- it seems to
cut across boundaries and notions that otherwise separate men
"We did not hear them running because they had their shoes in
their hands. Well they saw me standing weeing on the wall with
my big gusher and Steve with his dick out weeing with me. One
said "f***ing hell!" Well I think it was because I was standing
up and weeing a bit like a guy. "She's got a cock!"
HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! Oh, the innocence! Oh, the thrill of social
terror that must go through their little hearts, followed by
that delicious surge of realization...
""No" I said and I had a giggle. "Try it" I said."
You beaut! You even turned to show them you were doing something
they could too! That's the spirit. And they were so desperate
that they had a go right there and then -- maybe with practice
they'll join the ranks of women who urinate straight-backed,
with pride and dignity, and it'll be down to your courageous
And, on your next post:
As I said to Steve above, how amazing it is to share the
intimacies that a bath offers, and your rich morning brew
coloring the waves was just perfect! I really, really smiled as
I read about your latest raid on the gents' -- the way your
heart hammers behind your ribs when think you're about to be
discovered, the way you strain your ears to catch the slightest
sound, and the way such a cue can send you flying into a stall
to wait until the coast is clear again -- yes, dear, I've been
there, done that, at least once or twice. And then, being so
tense that you end up standing there for ages and ages trying to
start... Then wee slowly with may drips for ages -- SMILE! You
did good, and I'd have so enjoyed using the next one along from
On the Venus symbols, does the company paint them out, or are
they starting to accrue in various washrooms? SNICKER!
Here's a thought -- if our dream came true and urinals were
provided in ladies' rooms, would the thrill of using them fade
away? Is it the act of trespass, of flying in the face of social
norms, or risking being exposed to the opposite sex, that we
find so exciting? Or would we still enjoy it just as much, just
perhaps less nervously, more calmly and with less stress
(perhaps meaning we could relax and refine our art?) Food for
ANNIE -- You said: "Hey gal!!! That was some missile target
practice you had! Blimey!! That loo must have been rockin,LOL!
Steak, fries and alcoholic cider! Yep, that surely would do it
for me! That little note you sent to Buck. Yes, our WSPC numbers
are growing and you are our leader. Take care! Lovexx from
Annie(Robby and the girls)"
The leader? Wow, I usually think of Louise as the leader, but I
must blush to confess I've done my part to spread the word and
show-the-flag. Yes, that was some visit to the loo... I had
another this morning, not quite so major, but still quite
something. It started off with bumshot, which is always a
precursor to something well-formed, then I birthed a 10"
tadpole, followed by two more solid torpedoes of around 6". It
was very satisfactory! (Hugs to you, Robby and the girls.)
PV (Part 2 coming...)
Here's Part 2 -- looks like it was just too big to post in one go!
COED -- "The urinals that the college had were the ones that
dropped all the way to the floor so any male of any size could
answer nature's call." Same type at my college! "I guess she
couldn't hold it any longer because she stepped up to the urinal
next to me and dropped her pants. She looked like she was
humping the urinal as she was relieving herself. Since the
urinals dropped to the floor her piss went in to them. She was
groaning with relief. I stood there in amazement and
embarrassment. She was exposing her whole bottom to men and
women, and I had just gotten over my fear. From that day
forward, I felt proud and wasn't embarrassed by pissing in front
of others. The next day I even saw a few of her friends and her
pissing in the urinals. "
Hi guy -- your story is absolutely fabulous! Yes, it can often
happen that way, the first time I ever used a urinal in company
was a desperation situation, in which the ladies' room was out
of order and a group of women simply appropriated the mens'. I
simply could not wait for a stall and chose to use the steel
wall instead. before I was finished, another lady had made the
same choice, and that was a turning point for me. You see, I was
chronically "pee-shy" too, and was just getting over it after a
lifetime of affliction, and it was the uninhibited ability of
other women whom I met on the web that game the courage and
ability to break that cycle. As for her "humping the urinal," my
impression is that was a natural set of pelvic spasms to do with
the clearly provocative thing she was doing, plus a reaction to
her desperate need. Adjusting her pelvic angle was probably
helping to continue to produce a clean stream. Whatever -- it
worked! Hmmm, makes me wish we had coed bathrooms at my
INA -- Fried? Darn! My keyboard sticks on some letters... GRIN!
"the red, hot Aussie fire extinguisher." Hahahahahah!!!! That's
one of the nicest things anybody ever said to me! "Shame we
can't get together- We could hire a sports car (maybe with some
other club members like SARAH S, MEGHAN, ANNIE, CARMELITA,
RENEE, PATSY, KENDALL AND OF COURSE LOUISE), whizz around on a
lovely sunny day, drink lots of water and mark our territory in
so many places, they'll have to rename it 'girl's own
country"...haha, wouldn't that be fun!"
Fun of the first magnitude! With that lot, better make it two
big convertibles, then we can hop out easy when we need to (all
lined up on the gravel at the roadside... or all whizzing over
the barrier rail of a mountain lookout...) I'm continuing to
enjoy those fountains, I have a really ice one to report -- see
Hugs to my frieNd (!) in Germany (whom I kinda fancy in return)!
RIZZO -- You said: "PV dear, I was thinking about you having a
standing wee under a starry sky. It is a fantastic experience,
isn't it? Jupiter is well visible from here. When you wee the
next time, face north, find Orion, then a bit to the right from
its lower end (from your viewing position) you will find a
bright "star", planet Jupiter in fact. Seeing your post
alongside mine when giving Eleanor some advice made me feel like
we were Toilet Warriors riding to the attack side by side! Hugs,
You have the knack of saying the sweetest things! Yes, the night
of the clear sky I was staring up at Orion and Jupiter, in the
northern sky, as I sighed and streamed in the grass, and just
luxuriated in the most other-worldly experience. I was thinking
of my friends as I went! Toilet Warriors -- interesting
combination of concepts! GRIN! I have often see myself as an
Amazon, on horseback, sticking up for what's right, with bow and
sword... maybe you could be one of the "Trusted Males" who ride
into battle with us -- especially when youngsters are in
trouble. On a side-note, I would indeed like to know if the
April who posted about her shabby treatment at the remand center
is indeed the one who was so mortified in the car by her mother,
and threatened with beating over it -- I remember my Amazon
spirit saw red that time too. (Hugs from the far south)
Part 3 to come,
And Part 3...
Well, all, here's my latest adventure. Yesterday I was watering
some plants in the back garden, down the bottom near the fence.
It was a hot day and they needed it. I carried over a watering
can and carefully watered each, but very quickly the
smoothly-flowing, weighty stream from the spout (no
sprinkle-attachment) woke up a previously-non-insistent need to
have a wee. Well, I filled the can again and went back to water
the plants some more, and this time moved along to those under
tree shade behind the garage, took a quick look around to be
sure I was alone, and ... Guess what I did next? Anybody know?
Well, while I was pouring the watering can with my right hand, I
used my left to slip my shorts and thong over to the left. I
held them aside with my fourth and fifth fingers, and used the
second and third to open my lips, and proceeded to have an easy
and surprisingly major wee into the leaf litter from a standing
position. I really surprised myself, I had not known my bladder
was so full, and basically I was still weeing after the watering
can was empty. That was fun, taking an outdoors whiz in broad
And how's this for a one-track mind?
First: you all know the money-shifting payment service called
"Paypal?" Every time I see it written down or hear it spoken, my
mind translates it to "Pee-pal!"
Second: You all must have heard of the rock singer Nellie
Furtardo? Well pardon me, but my mind automatically transposes
her name to Fart-Turdo...
And third: Here in Aus we have "Sprite" brand lemonade, and the
current advertising campaign is "Obey your thirst -- DRINK
Sprite." It then outlines everything you're not supposed to do
with it, such as "Not to be used as aftershave," "Not
recommended for washing the car," and so forth. I was looking at
an add sticker in a drinks cabinet at the supermarket the other
day, and the slogan sprang into my mind: "May be injurious if
used as an enema..." Hee-hee!
Last quick note before posting -- RENEE, I'm so sorry to know
your home background was not a good one, that boils my blood,
nobody deserves that, not a living soul in this world. I'm so
glad Jake was there, and he was the good man you needed him to
be -- I'm officially sending him a spine-bending hug, please
translate it from cyber form to material form!
I'm glad Malita is on the mend, it's a wicked thing she's been
through and I can't wait til she's back on the keyboard, well
and ... just well again!
I looked for that T-shirt, I think they've sold out -- but I'm
more keen than ever to get up on a horse! Hugs from your
red-headed pal in the great southland!
All my best to all my friends, and special hellos to: JEFF A;
DIANE NY; PATSY, CARMALITA, ANGIE, TESA, NU, JAKE AND LITTLE
EMMY; KENDAL & ANDREW; SARAH AND MEGHAN; KIM & SCOTT: EPHERMAL,
and anyone else I might have forgotten!
I am so very relieved that you're well again, can smile again, and laugh. It's so hard to get by the aching place where a special person once was, and I wish I could hug you for real, instead of this intangible cyber-version (HUG!)
I'm also glad you were able to move your bowels at last, and glad it was a positive experience in more ways than one. You know, your pose, legs wide, pants around your ankles, is precisely the way I do it when I feel a big one coming down and want to be able to make a visual check of the size as it comes. If you picture a fairly tanned redhead a little taller than yourself, with what sounds like a very similar trim down below, you'll have me to a T!
I've done some solid ploonkers lately too, a few farts first, then bumshot, then major depth charges. Today I got a splash-back, cold water into my open anus -- that's the first time in years it's happened and it made me grin!
With affection, my friend,
NICOLE -- I confess I just don't understand where parents are coming from when they punish their kids for having an accident. You were already crying with embarressment, you did not do it on purpose... At fifteen you're already a young woman by many standards, and to physically punish you for it had more to do with the inconveniece and embarressment your mother was experiencing. There seems to be a dearth of compassion in the world -- honestly. If your mother had just one percent of the feeling in her that's found under, for instance, Malita's roof, you'd have been treated fairly and properly. I hope very much that your mother is visited by fate and taken short in an inconvenient time and place, and that others treat her with as little compassion as she showed to you -- that's poetic justice.
Kathy (RJOGGER's Wife)
Hi everyone, well it happened again this morning, yes, I was in the ladies room at work when my boss's boss, Louise, came in and lowered the boom! Before I get to that, Anne came home from the hospital yesterday, still a little weak, but much improved from last week. I was really frightened that my best friend was in worse shape than she was. Anne is border line diabetic, and a serious illness like she had could have been life threatening. On Sunday, Rick and I went up to visit her late in the morning. As we entered the room, we saw Mike standing by the bed, with what appeared to be ear muffs in his hand. "Better put these on, before the locomotive fires up and blasts us". Mike was grinning as he pointed to the bathroom, where Anne was seated with the door slightly opened. "FÖ You, Mike", came the reply, and of course both of the guys laughed. "That goes double for you, Rick", and Rick replied "You must be slipping, Annie, I thought that I was 3 times as bad". We all heard a! booming fart, Rick and Mike laughed even harder, turning red in the process, and I just flashed a Mohawk Stare at the guys, then I went into the bathroom. Anne passed several rounds of loose stools, and said that they were firmer than the other day. I asked her if she was OK, and she said that she was feeling much stronger. I poked my head out of the door, and Mike was making believe that he was pulling a whistle chord every time Anne farted. I looked at them again, and so did a passing nurse, who looked in and asked if everything was alright. That stopped the 2 fifty something 18 year olds in their tracks, then the nurse left. After she did, the guys looked at each other blankly, then they started laughing again. They can be a bit much at times, but what can you expect from them. I think men prefer to act like high school kids, regardless of their age. I went back in to assist Anne, as she was finishing, and we came out of the bathroom shortly. "You could probably heat the! hospital with all of that gas", Mike said, as his Huck Finn grin widened. "I'm gonna kill you", Anne said, but she rushed at Mike with a grin and playfully punched his shoulders. "And as for you wise guyÖ" she said to Rick, as she went over and playfully slapped his shoulders. It was good to see her being herself again, because she gave us a scare.
Now about today: Rick was out of the house early, so I missed his morning poop and just saw him briefly before he left. I finished showering, dressing and ate breakfast, brushed my teeth and left for work. As luck would have it, the urge to poop hit me about 2 miles from work. Of course, that is where traffic is the worst, and I spent 15 minutes getting to the hospital parking lot, and getting to my office. I put down my carrying bag, and left for the ladies room. I didn't have time to run upstairs to the restroom that Rita showed me, as the urge was very strong. I went into the main ladies room, heard a flush, went into the first stall, lowered my slacks and panties and sat. I was pushing out what turned out to be a very large log, when it hit me. At first I thought it was me, but them I heard someone pooping about 3 stalls to my left, and I realized that I was in the clutches of Louise's vapors. I was trying to pee, and I wasn't finished pooping, so I tucked my nose in! to my sleeve, trying to avoid the odor. All I could hear was sloppy poop whooshing out, followed by grunting. The smell kept getting worse, so I tried to finish up as quickly as I could. I passed 3 more smaller logs, wiped my ass 3 times, my vagina once, then I stood up and quickly pulled up my pants. I could only take a fleeting glance at my log, so I could not estimate how large it was. But it was quite large. I flushed, ran to the sink, washed up, dried my hands and ran out the door. To my surprise, Rita, Gail, Janet and Bernice were all outside, and as I burst out the door, they all started laughing. Seeing them laugh made be laugh, and as we walked back towards area that we receive the children in, Rita told me that Louise was talking to her about the "problem". Apparently, Louise has a medical condition, and she is going to have some tests run to see if something can be done about it. I hope that nothing is seriously wrong with her, and I also hope that her condition w! ill clear up. I don't think I can stand another encounter with her perfume.
Bye Bye everyone, I hope to speak to you all again soon.
Tuesday, February 05, 2002
To Unknown poster: I think every guy has a problem occasionally of waking up with an erection and having trouble peeing. It's a real pain! I don't know if there is any sort of female eqivalent to this problem. That's why I always thought "penis envy" was a strange thing. Having a penis can sometimes be a real nuisance! A couple of my female friends say how much of a pain it is to always have to sit down to pee, not to mention having their period. But guys are stuck with a dick every damn day! I think there's more advantages to not having one than women realize. What's the big deal about having to sit down to pee? No erection problems, no aiming problems, nothing to get caught in your zipper. The only advantage I can see is when peeing outside, which is obviously easier for guys. A guy's penis can also get in the way when taking a dump, which is another advantage women have.
Regardless, our digestive systems are all the same, just the plumbings a little different.
Had a monster dump the other day. I was out and there was nowhere to go. For about three hours I held it, and then I finally got back to the office and went in the restroom. I sat on the pot for about fifteen minutes! Three massive logs slowly squeezed out and plopped into the water. Man, it felt great, and I felt about fifteen pounds lighter afterwards! Nothing like a nice big crap to revitalize you!
Having little fiber and a lot of fat in your diet has been linked to a higher incidence of colon cancer, though many factors, including genetics are involved in colon cancer. Though studies are ongoing, NOT being constipated seems to be a factor in preventing colon cancer. Think about it - stool is after all waste, and waste is toxic. How long do you really want toxic waste to hang around in our bodies?
OUTHOUSE SCOTT - My Steve sometimes has that "morning glory"
thing, but he can still pee a weak stream when he is fully erect.
It is easier for him just to piss in the shower if that happens.
And why did you not tell your female friends that they *DO NOT*
have to sit down to pee? They need to un-learn that nonsense!
Maybe you have not read all my past letters and the letters of
lots of other girls here who can piss standing up.
I do not have "penis envy". I love holding my fiance's dick for
him when he wees because it is fun and it makes me feel close to
him, but I am not envious.
SCARLET - Hi girl! I hope your computer works so you can read my
Maybe you should tell your mum about the Kegel exercises. It maybe
that she will have better bladder control after a while of just
Yeah I bet you do not need the exercises yet to you know, please
a guy, but may be you should do them for your bladder control. It
is a good thing to be able to stop pissing, you know.
Steve is my only lover ever, and he is a bit on the "big" side
too. I hope he does not mind me saying that again. I think I was
lucky because I did not have it too bad with the problem I think
you mean. I soon got used to it.
Your story. I think Steph should have proved it and peed outside! LOL
Love Louise x
CARMALITA - You are back! Hey! Liked your latest story. I hope
you are feeling much better and you are eating properly. I know
how you mean about loving Jake. He sounds like my Steve in a lot
of ways, and I know how lucky you are.
Love Louise xxx
JOHN - The guy who asked about farting. Well I used to be a bit
shy about farting with Steve there. I do not usually do raspy
ones, mine are usually hissy or silent. I think I let gas out
a few times a day but maybe more some days than on other days.
I used to think Steve would be put off if I farted but he does
not seem to be, so if I need to do it, I do it.
SARAH S AND MEGHAN - Hi girls! Well I do not know that I was a
standing up wee teacher for those girls exactly, that one just
imitated me. LOL
I was a bit drunk and I do not know that I would have turned around
if I had not had a drink. It makes me blush but it makes me laugh
to remember it as well.
Yeah, when Steve and I are on here we think the British way is
different to the American way, using different words. Poop is not
a word used here, but Americans never use the word wee, do they?
So I bet you two get people wondering what you mean if you say wee.
Steve is a bit busy until Wednesday, but I will tell him you have
written to him. I am sure if he would let Annie watch him wee he
would let you two watch too.
Love Louise xxx
ANNIE - Good for you that you wiped Robbie's willy after he weed.
I am not sure how I would wipe a cicumcised man. I mean I wipe
Steve's foreskin only, because his glans is sensitive to the paper
and I know he does not like it. I mean would I have avoid the
little slit at the end? I know it is a silly question really,
but I am just thinking if the pee hole is wipeable. I do not
remember us talking about this but I am a bit curious about it.
Love Louise xxx
KIM AND SCOTT - Hi girl! I liked your letter. It made me remember
when I needed a shit after netball. I came out of the showers, do
you remember, and I said I was getting the turtle's head? Another
girl wanted to go as well, and she stood watching me while I was
hovering my bum nude over the bowl? They all said I should not
block the bog up, and I didn't, but I still did quite a big log.
I have not done a really big one for me, about a foot long, for
a little while. Maybe I will do one soon. I just seem to do lots of
little pebbles followed by a 4 or 5 inch lump when I shit at the
I bet Steve will like your letter, he likes girls in bathing suits.
He likes it when they take them off even better! LOL
Love Louise xxx
STEVE (MY STEVE) - Pia is no competition. Yeah she did a big thick
wee stream standing there in our bath but when the next pee contest
comes, I will wash her away! You see if I don't!
I was baby-sitting for the first time ever on Friday. My friend and
her husband were out for the night, and because she could not get
her sister to do it, I did the baby-sitting. The children were a boy
of 5 and a girl of 7.
Well the little girl was no trouble and she was very good. She went
in their bathroom once for a wee and she was in bed by 8pm. Oh, the
boy just kept getting up and coming downstairs to talk to me. He
was a little livewire and he did not want to sleep at all. He went
in their bathroom and he had his wee but he was in their for ages.
I thought is he having a crap as well? I really did not know what
to do to find out what he was doing and why he was a long time.
What was worse was I wanted a shit. He made me wait ages, and when
he came out he did not have his pyjama trousers on. Well I went
in the bathroom and I took my jeans and knickers down. You know
I thought would I get the door opening again like it did in
Scotland but it was not like that this time. I hovered my bum
over the toilet and plopped a few little lumps in there. Well when
I came out the boy clicked his tongue in his mouth and made sounds
like my little lumps did on the bottom of the toilet. Plop plop
plop, he went. I blushed because he had been listening to me
shitting. I took him back in his bedroom and he was still going
plop when I put his pyjama trousers back on for him. You know I was
happy when his mum and dad came home! I am really useless with
children, I just let them walk all over me! LOL
Jasta, the story about the 350Lb woman called Clairabella who broke the seat and got trapped... When she stood up you saw her poop and it was like 40Lbs? What did it look like? Lots of piled up firm logs, or was it "soft serve" stuff?