New girl
too shy to poo in public
I'm a shy pooper and only poo when I'm at home. If I need to go when I'm out somewhere or I'm at work I hold it untill I get home even if I'm desperate. That makes me constipated and then I have to take laxatives to make myself go which causes a problem when I'm not at home because I get super desperate and have to use a public toilet or risk pooing myself.
That happened to me yesterday. I was at work and I hadn't been for three days so before I went to work I took some ex lax and at lunch time it was starting to work. I really had to go and didn't dare fart in case I lost it. I felt embarrassed to go to the toilet but knew it would be much worse if I tried to hold it and failed so I went. It didn't quite go to plan though because we have a unisex toilet at work and there are only two girls in the office and seven men. There were a two guys waiting behind me in the que and I didn't feel comfortable having a smelly poo knowing they were going to use the toilet after me. I went in anyway because I had to and sat down. I peed but I couldn't face pooing with two men outside and held, or tried to hold my poo. I felt it moving down to my bum and swallowed my pride and pushed. It was so embarrassing because it was a very big load and it stank. Mind you the relief was out of this world. When I flushed the toilet it left a lot of thick skid marks in the toilet and there were a few bits of poo floating around. I left the toilet in a hurry and went back to the office with my face burning red.Brandon T
a quick post
To: Natalie X it sounds like your body produces more gas then normal or maybe just the right amount who knows for sure and I look forward to your next post thanks.
To: Valarie great story it sounds like you were hving a pretty rough day at least most of it ended up in the toilet and at leat your friend Thelma was there to help you and from the sounds of it you got group of really carring friends and as always I look forward to your next post thanks.
Well thats all for now.
Sincerly Brandon T
PS. I love this site
Barbara
Hi im barbara, im a 17 year old girl. I have black hair and a chubby rear end and thighs. Well, when i poop, i poop alot. I love to eat, and my poop is mostly soft and thick. Sometimes it gets really long. And i often get very very gassy. I get embarrassed alot because of it. So anyways, last week i ate at chickfila for breakfast. All the chicken gave me a short ???? ache and a bit of gas but it went away after a while. Then for lunch i at mexican food. I had a bean and beef borito. And that did it! I was super gassy after that and my ???? felt a little funny. I had to drive to an apartment building to babysit a kid (i have a babysitting job) afterwards so i left to go there. During the car ride, my stomach felt so weird. I got cramps, and i let out some nasty farts. They were mostly low and bassy, and they stunk really bad. The farts eased my stomache a bit. So whe i got to the apartment building, i entered the elevator and i suddenly got a bad stOmache pain and i grabbed my side abd let out a small, silent fart. It stunk up the elevator and the two people riding with me noticed. I realized i had to use the ladies room... Very badly. It felt like i was going to have diarreah. And i couldnt take it... I farted loud and filled my black panties. It stunk so bad and i was humiliated in fro t of those two people!
So last night I knew I had to take the biggest crap ever. I knew it was gonna be one of those explosive chunky type ones. My parents were home and I hate going while they're around especially when it's going to be like I thought. My dad ended up taking the bathroom and I was getting desperate. I remembered that my grandsom was at rehab so her bathroom downstairs was open. I went in to use it and as soon as I went it was those horrible burning craps. I finished and was in a ton of pain. It took about 30 mins to go away but finally left.
Heather
railroad tracks
Hi my name is Heather I'm a 16 a just recently got my drivers license..my father bought me a old beater car to get to and from school..one afternoon I decided to got to walmart to pick up some things..I shopped for about a half an hour when all of a sudden I got the urge to poop I don't mind useing public bathrooms when I need to pee but when I poop id rather be somewhere nobody can hear me so I decided to check out and try to make a run for home..I finally made it through the long line and made it to my junker in the parking lot and began to drive home..our house is kinda outside of town so I have to take some dirt roads to get home..I began getting a slight ???? ache when I drove of the paved road on to the gravel road that lead to my house I drove about a mile or so before something burst under my hood and sprayed liquid all over and smoked rolled out from under the hood I quickly pulled over and got out..by this time I was ready to crap my pants I wasn't even thinking about my car being disabled I just knew I needed to get somewhere quickly and poop..I grabbed my bag and walked through some high weeds to some railroad tracks that were
about 100 feet away I looked around briefly before I instinctively. took off my white shorts and my panties so not to ruin them I sat on the rail and it just started comeing out it felt
so good I began to grunt and push..my poop was so long it curled up and began to touch my butt I had to lean forward ad
break it off and move over a bit..I finished up and wiped as best
I could with the few tissues I had i put back on my panties and shorts back on and looked down to see what I had
done..I was amazed on the size of the pile I left it was gross..I
immediately called my dad on my cell phone and had him come
get me and my car..when I think back on it I kinda find it kinda exciting thinking of what I did, thinking that someone could have seen me..I don't know if id do it again but it was kinda fun
Lauren
A question for Car Mom
Hi again. Thought I would post something I saw yesterday. I was a small boutique like clothing store picking up a gift for my friend. There was a mom in there with her daughter, who appeared to be about six or seven, the same age as Jagger. The little girl whose name was Katie (I heard her mom call her that) kept crossing her legs and grabbing her crotch. It was obvious she had to pee but it took about ten minutes for her to tell her mom. Her mom went up to the cashier and asked where the restrooms were. The cashier replied that the restrooms were for employees only and she could not let Katie use one. The mom asked her to look at how desperate her daughter was but all the cashier suggested was to go to the mall across the street and pee there. Now, if I were Car Mom I would have went up to them and asked if Katie would like a pee in my car. However, I felt awkward asking and did not know how they would react to that offer. Car Mom: how do you do it. I know you send Kaylee in to ask, but do you ever feel uncomfortable asking? Has anyone ever gotten upset at the offer or mad even? The mom told the cashier that Katie would either pee in their restroom or pee on their floor. She was still told no so she told Katie to go stand in the middle of the store and have a pee. Katie walked to the middle of the store, spread her legs and began gushing pee onto the carpet. It made a loud hissing noise and a huge puddle. The mom then threw the clothes she was holding onto the puddle and they left. I probably would not have reacted in that way if I was Katie's mom. I would have been upset but not have vandalized the store. What about you other moms on here? What would you have done?
oldpoop
splat in the yard
Yesterday was not a good day in some respects. I had bad heart palpitations twice, and got outside for my usual outdoor work only briefly. For lunch we had a delicious cheese souffle, the top half of which was basically egg-whites and air. Loved it--but it didn't love me. I had finally gotten to go outside and look around at the plants. Near the back of the property, I felt gas pressure, so I started to pass gas. However, what came out was liquid, not gas, with more threatening to leak immediately. Since I was in a sheltered part of our rural property, I quickly lowered my pants, squatted, and let fly with a brief but powerful blowout of diarrhea. I knew immediately that the cause was the souffle; apparently it had not agreed with me, likely because of too much air and the rich cheese. Anyway, there I was, outdoors, no toilet paper. I pulled my underwear and pants back up, hoping that they would not be too badly stained. I kicked some pine needles over the small pool of wet poop. Then, slowly and carefully, I walked back into the house and straight into the bathroom to wipe. When I got there, I found a small amount of wet poop on the inside of my underpants where they had been against my poopy bottom. I took my pants (untouched, fortunately) and undies all the way off. The underpants I washed in the sink, with soap; then I soaped up a washcloth and washed my bottom, crack and anus, as well as I could. Off to the clothes hamper with the undies, the washcloth, and the towel I used to dry myself. Truly my most undignified bowel movement for a long, long time. This was obvio usly no disease: My b.m. this morning was normal, though only moderate size.Pat
Was just going over some bathroom scenes from TV shows of yesteryear and came up with one from right off the top of my head:
Happy Days: Chachi's mother has Howard & Marian Cunningham over for dinner, and inadvertently includes an ingredient in her pasta sauce that Marian is allergic to. Marian spends the rest of the evening in the bathroom.
I remember this episode quite well, Marion gets up quickly and asks Chachi's mom where the bathroom is. She tells Marian where it is and tells her that she'll have to hold the door shut with her foot while she's sitting on the toilet. Marion groans and heads quickly towards the bathroom, holding her stomach. Howard stops her and asks if there's anything that he can do to help her. Marian looks Howard right square in the eye (still holding her stomach) and says "Howard, I know that we said that we were going to share many experiences when we got married, but BELIEVE ME, this isn't one of them." She then turns around quickly, rushes into the bathroom, and slams the door.
Nate R
emergency in the parking lot
I've been forgetting to post this one.
Last Friday I was driving home from the city late at night. I had hydrated really well cause I planed on spending Saturday in the sun. When I got to town I had to pee really bad, but I thought I could hold it. I needed to stop at work quick for something, and I thought I could pee there. I was still a few blocks away and I was getting too desperate to go any farther. The next parking lot I saw I pulled in and jumped out of my car. Before I could get my pants down the pee started coming out and made a wet spot in my underwear. I did manage to pull my pants down enough to keep from making the mess too big. It was so relieving. Then I left with my little wet spot in my underwear.
PN
Reply to Chelsea
Reply to Chelsea about guys peeing or pooping first: Usually I pee first, but not always.
Mrs. Toilet Trooper
Hi. It's Mrs. Toilet Trooper here posting some replies. Wow. Thank you to everyone that took my survey. I honestly did not expect so many people to take the survey. You really exceeded my expectations. I might post some more similar surveys in the future. I enjoy reading all the various answers.
To Mr. Clogs: Thank you for enjoying my story and its title. However, I never clogged up the toilet that morning. Someone else, namely Coco, her boyfriend, or someone else must have clogged up the toilet because the toilet did not flush when I attempted to flush it, and Coco only told me about her "retarded" toilet when she returned home.
Thanks,
Ebony
Sarah
to Natalie X
You say your always so gassy, I just wanted ask how often would you say you fart a day and do you have any stories when you were extremely gassy?
Marianne
Spied on by boys
A few posts back (2192), Tina posted a story under the title "Boys are gross". Well, I had an experience similar to hers...
I was in the 7th grade and away at summer camp. It was basically two different camps, one for the girls, and one a ways away for the boys. The rules were that no boys were permitted in the girls' area, and vice versa. However, several times boys were caught peeking in the girls' cabins at night, probably hoping to see us naked.
Well, one evening about 8:30, I was feeling a need to take a dump. I had been a bit constipated and hadn't been in about four days. I headed off to the outhouse. I sat down and began to push out a turd. I dropped off several turds and was feeling better, but I still had more to get out. Suddenly, the door burst open and three boys came in. They were laughing and staring at my "downstairs". I yelled at them to get out, but they didn't go anywhere. They soon realized that I was pooping (how they could have missed that from the start, I'll never know) and began to make comments about how my shit stank, etc. I had a turd hanging out of my butt at that moment and all I could do was keep yelling at them to leave.
Soon enough, one of the counselors came to see what all the commotion was about. When they saw her coming, the boys ran away, but they were inevitably caught. The counselor closed the door and let me finish my dump in peace, though I was still shaken up. I sat until I was empty and wiped myself thoroughly, then returned to the cabin for bed. I was later informed that the three boys were immediately expelled from camp and I'm sure they got disciplined by their parents as well.
That experience was pretty awful and I didn't want to talk about it for many years. But now I look back and think it's kind of funny, in a weird sort of way.Little Mandi
Answer to Chelsea's question and 2 stories
When I poop I always go pee at the same time. Usually I pee when I'm done,unless I have to pee in the first place. I usually don't fart a lot. Sometimes I have gassy days but not very often.
1st story
Last week at work I had to go pee. When we got slow I said I'd be right back and walked down the hall to the bathroom. I took the second to last stall which I always do when its available. No specific reason I just always go for that one. I sat on the toilet and got ready to pee. It sounded like the lady next to me had a little upset stomach. I heard her let out 3 kind of loud wet farts and what sounded like some diarrhea. I was a little surprised. I never heard someone have diarrhea in a public bathroom before. It didn't bother me at all though. I just peed and left. I remember getting an upset stomach at a baseball game before. It was one of the 3 times in my life that I had to go poop in a public bathroom. I was so embarrassed but it was either that or have diarrhea in my pants.
Story 2
My shyness has been at an all time high lately. On Tuesday I took the train to visit one of my best friends. I had my usual morning coffee and it was like it went right through me. Shortly after finishing it I had to go pee. It wasn't bad yet and eventually I forgot about it. I got to my friends house and a little while later I remembered I had to go and the urge was twice as bad. Me and this friend are very open with each other. We always tell each other when we have to go. Normally its just me and him in the house and usually I'll just be like I gotta go pee and go up to the bathroom. This time my shyness got the best of me and I couldn't work up nerve to go. I think it was because his brother and mom were home. I sat there squirming in my chair and taking deep breaths. My bladder felt like it was gonna explode. I had to go so bad it wasn't even funny. My friend was making me laugh and I jokingly said quit making me laugh. I thought I'd pee myself laughing. I was so uncomfortable. I was even getting those cramps in my stomach. I was tapping my fingers and squirming like crazy. My friend jokingly said that I had a lot of energy. Finally I admitted I had to go pee. He said go ahead you know where the bathroom is. I walked to the bathroom as fast as I can and peed a river. It felt so good to get it out. I wiped and went back downstairs. I sighed in relief and told my friend how badly I had to go. We joked about it for a little bit and that was that.Afro
To John on the John
Thanks for your post. I'm glad someone else feels the way I do about using the bathroom. I'd prefer to use it at home, but when the need comes, you have to go. And I agree with what you said; we may be different in other ways, but everyone does it
Yes, I do live in the U.S. New York actually.
Now I guess I should talk about this girl. She's a tomboy, and never minds to talk or do most things that are considered nasty or gross. (She'll pick her nose, pick out wedgies, or burp) But she is VERY cute. She has a big butt, and we often joke about its a deadly weapon.
Anyway, in Chemistry class, we're sitting next to each other, and all we talk about is farting and pooping. She says she loves to poop, because of the relief that comes with it. She also told me that she's always gassy on the toilet, and if she has to fart in school, she would "Crop dust" in the hallway.
There are a couple of tomboys in my school, but finding someone lime her is great, even just to talk to.
Do any guys, or girls, here know any tomboys like her?Lauren
To Erica (car mom reader)
I'm glad you had your daughter try it. I never clean up after my daughters so I don't have advice for you there. Try have her sitting farther back, or experiment with how far get legs are apart. The closer the legs, the less mess. My girls usually pee with their knees touching so it doesn't spread a lot. I let my kids do it out of convienence. I know car moms daughter kaylee does it for fun, but my kids usually do it only when they really have to go. As I mentioned my seven year old Jagger loves it. My ten year old Maysa hates it and will usually hold it until we get to a bathroom. My two year old Story pees in her car seat because she can't hold it very long. Maybe even if you don't let your daughter do it all the time, she can do it occasionally on long trips or when the restroom is too gross. How did she like it? Anyway, I posted last time that because of my new car we were avoiding car pees now. This is still true but sometimes we can't avoid it. For example we were driving to a doctors appointment that was about thirty minutes away. Halfway there, jagger said she really had to pee. I knew she couldn't hold it and if we stopped somewhere I would have to unload all my kids, including my new born twins. This would take so long jagger would probably pee her pants. I told her to go ahead and pee in the car. A few days later, we were stuck in traffic. This time Maysa told me she had to pee really bad. I asked if she could hold it and she said probably not. She then asked permission to ped on the car. I knew she hates that so I figured she must really have to go and said yes. Later jagger peed too as well as myself.
Well that's all for now.
Lauren
prplchknz
Accidents
I've been peeing myself, not on purpose its like i can either make it, or almost make ie half goes in my pants half goes in the toilet, or i get a 5 second warning before my bladder realeases its contents into my pants. its gotten bad enough that i've had to go back to diapers 24/7 i really envy people who can keep their pants dry just one day one day is all i ask.Is there any stories of people pooping in ur car carmom
Random post - survey
Age: 17
Gender: Female
Sorry, I can't copy/paste very easily on my phone, so I won't have the questions on this post.
1. Generally twice a day, once around noon and once around 7
2. I prefer folding unless I'm in a hurry
3. Yes, I think most people do check
4. I usually stand if at home, or jus stay seated when im in public, and most of my dumps Are taken at public wcs
5. Yea, I fold and reuse.
6. Only I'd I'm really messy
7. Not often
8. Dunno. Rarely
9. Usually slightly bent forward with my knees pointing in and my hands in my lap holding to for the most privacy
10. Yes
11. Normally doWn to the floor, but I cover myself nicely
12. Yea
13. Around my backside if standing, between my legs if sitting
14. Back to front if sitting, opposite if standing
15. Clean as possible
16. I used to, but these days I'm almost always out and another, and I'm not too good at holding, so I've gotten very comfortable wih moving my bowels in public places
17. Depends who is there. Sometimes.
18. No
19 noAJ
desperate pee at the ocean
This website is seriously lacking in good pee stories! I have one that happened last summer, when I was on a family vacation.
We were at a beach in Hawaii, and my whole family was swimming and snorkeling. I suddenly had an urge to pee, but I ignored it, assuming I could hold it until we got back to the hotel. I tried to stay in the water, but that just made everything worse. I was into the water about waist deep, and I kept crossing my legs and pressing my thighs together. I knew I could barely hold it anymore, so I tried to relax and let go, but nothing came out! It just made me have to go even more.
For some reason, I've never been able to pee in the ocean like most people can. I just can't ever get a stream started! So this was a problem, because there absolutely no bathrooms available, and no matter what I did, I could not start peeing while I was in the water. I was wiggling around in the water, trying not to hold myself, and the pressure in my bladder was becoming unbearable. I seriously dying to pee, but I didn't know what to do.
I got out of the water and carefully walked over to my mom. I told her I really had to go, and she suggested I that I go back towards the forest-y part of the beach, near the trees, and try to pee there. The beach was super small and pretty empty, so no one would see me.
I went over on my own. My bladder felt so full and heavy, I was walking quickly and pretty much wriggling, shifting from one foot to the other as I made my way towards the middle of the area. I felt the tingling feeling down below that told me that I need to pee as soon as possible!
I soon found a tree stump surrounded by trees, and sat on the edge of it. I looked back and saw that the road and area behind me was completely empty, and no one could see into the forest area -- it was hidden by a small mountain of rocks.
I edged forwards on the tree stump, still dying to go, and pulled my bikini bottoms aside. It took a while for me to get my stream started, but finally, a little trickle of pee began to come out. But it wasn't enough for me to feel relief yet, I was still so desperate!
I tried to relax as much as possible, looking out at the ocean in front of me as a distraction. Then, I finally began to pee. It felt soooo good to finally relieve myself, even though the stream was still small and slow.
Eventually my stream became normal and I ended up peeing for a pretty long time! I was probably sitting there peeing for a full 3 minutes! My pee just streamed out into a puddle in the dirt below me, barely making a sound. I could actually feel the pressure on my bladder lifting as I emptied all that pee out onto the ground.
It was my first time peeing outdoors, and it was a really great, relieving experience. Now that it's summer again, I'm hoping I'll get some more good opportunities to get desperate around the house.
recruit
military service
I am thinking of joining the military and was wondering if anyone had any stories of military service, especially basic training.
Also, as I'm preparing, I need to lose a lot of weight so I've been dieting and exercising--lots of fruits, vegetables, lean protien, whole grains, water; very little processed foods, white grains (rice, wheat, bread), sugar, sodium, fats. Again, LOTS of water, vegetables and fruits and exercise...and I've found that my bowels are sluggish...going once every 3-4 days instead of every 1-2...has anyone else had this?
Donna Emma
True Accident.!
Hi guys! first post here! Let me start off by saying that I'm a girl! 22! 5"6 130 Pounds!
I have two stories that happened to me within the last week!
1. I had a long day at work I work as a hostess! I worked a 9am-7pm shift. Our work uniform consists of a blouse and leggings! Well anyways at work all day I felt the urge too poop, and I was really sweaty from moving around so much. I kept holding it in and my stomach really hurted! I made it through the day and the urge came and went throughout the day! I don't want to use the bathrooms at work, because customers go in there, and i have a fear of being heard using the bathroom! haha.! Anyway after work i quickly punched out, and ran to my car and drove the 15 minute drive home. like ten minutes into the drive I felt my stomach churn, and I farted and I felt the poop right there about to burst out. I quickly sped up my driving running one red light to make it home, bu it was no use, As soon as I got out of my car I farted and a HUGE load of mushy poop exploded into my leggings, I just bent down a little bit and pushed to let the rest out, it felt so good, but stunk so bad, and I started crying because my boyfriend was home and I didn't want him to see me like this. I wrapped a hoodie around my waist and entered my house. My boyfriend thankfully was playing his video games and he has his headphones on and he didn't see me sneak in. I ran to our bedroom and grabbed a change of clothes and went into the shower. Boy was it a mess. My white thong was completely brown and ruined, mushy slimey greenish/brown crap was all over my crotch, and down my legs I slid out of the leggings and put them in the bathroom garbage can along with my thong. I hopped in the shower for 15 minutes scrubbing every inch of my body and getting all of the crap off of me. Boy did it stink, I was gagging a bit haha! The feeling of going was good but not the clean up. After my shower I took the bathroom trash and moved it outside, then i interrupted my boyfriends game with a nice kiss and he was happy to see me, but he doesnt know my secret ;)! haha!
Story 2.! this was yesterday. I was off yesterday and my boyfriend left for work at 1pm. We work on different days than each other! So I decided to stay in my bra and panties all day since it was really hot! I ate and went to sleep, when i woke up i felt like i needed to poop, but put off the urge and went on the computer I was chatting with friends, and checking a few files, when I felt like I had to fart, so i pushed, and wet crap like diarreah started flowing into my panties, I got up and started running to the bathroom, I let out a huge long fart and completely sh*t myself on the way to the bathroom, poop slid down my leg and onto the floor. I sat on the toilet and pushed a little more out, and looked at the horrific mess. But amazingly I was actually turned on by this feeling again of warm crap all over my body! haha. I got in the shower and cleaned up the mess on the floor, I had to mop the whole house. I threw away the panties. And when my boyfriend came home he didnt notice a thing!
Thank you guys for reading! I am starting to enjoy the feeling of pooping myself!, I might try it on purpose soon! I wonder if i should share this with my boyfriend or if he'll think im disgusting? idk. Let me know if you guys like my stories!
Mrs. Toilet Trooper
Pooper Trooper
Hi. It's Toilet Trooper Ebony reporting for doody with another shituation. Throughout my entire time in high school, I was a JROTC cadet, nearly obsessed with almost anything regarding the military. Both my parents have served in the military and frequently utilised military-like terms and discipline in the household when my siblings and I were growing up. As a result, I too developed an interest in the military and became a "military brat" of sorts. Of course, part of the reason that my sister Coco named me "Mrs. Toilet Trooper" after that shameful House of Horror incident is based upon my love of the military, also combined with the fact that I was placed on "duty" to clean "doody," according to her. Particularly, about two years ago in 12th grade, the JROTC instructors announced that the JROTC cadets would not only go on a field trip to a military base, but also stay within the base for the entire weekend.
As a military lover, I was excited about the field trip to the military base and looked forward to the trip. In JROTC, cadets were assigned to different units, where higher ranked cadets were in charge in of groups of cadets with lesser ranks. As a high-ranked cadet in JROTC, I commandeered my own unit mainly comprised of my closest friends in high school. When we arrived to the military base that Friday afternoon, the instructors introduced themselves and informed that cadets would carry out tasks within the base to earn our stripes. Eventually, after we completed our tasks for the day, after dinner, we returned to our obviously gender-segregated barracks where we spent our nights. The barracks contained neatly aligned bunk beds, and more notably, a latrine at the very end of the barracks, complete with many doorless stalls and showerheads perfect for the shameless shitter species.
Miranda, a shy close friend and member of my unit, noticed the latrine fearfully and whispered to me, "Wow, those bathrooms offer no privacy. I have to use the bathroom, but I'm scared." "Don't worry about it. We all use the latrine and I doubt that anyone would care." I looked in the latrine and noticed a few girls using the latrine. "See? Some girls are already letting loose and they seem fine! You go ahead girl and don't be afraid!" Although nervous, Miranda went to one of the doorless stalls and did her business while other girls prepared to shower. Unfortunately, Miranda had to shit, which caught the attention of three slightly overweight girls that recently finished showering. They often discussed using laxatives for weight loss. Standing near the stalls, they ridiculed Miranda for shitting in the barracks, attracting the attention of some others, who also laughed at Miranda. While the trip on the military base was otherwise enjoyable, this specific trio constantly ridiculed anyone caught shitting in the latrine that they believed to be an easy target or those that they disliked when the instructors were not present.
For some people, this evil trio single-handedly ruined the trip. For others, some thought their antics were hilarious. When I noticed the trio ridiculing Miranda, I approached everyone involved. "You better stop before one of the instructors find out. You can get in trouble for making fun of the cadets." Realising the punishment they can face, they went to their beds and let Miranda shit in peace. Afterwards, I also showered and went to bed along with the other cadets. The next day, after breakfast and carrying out tasks, we went to the dining facility for lunch, where I sat with my unit and apologised to Miranda. She said what happened was not my fault. Shortly after, the trio sat at our table with plenty of food and drink and too apologised to Miranda, which Miranda accepted. The trio's "leader" explained that they all got detention for what they did, but wanted to make it up to us. They then offered me some chill, a sandwich, and a glass of tea. I thanked them and suggested that we can all be cool with each other as we ate.
About maybe 20 minutes later or so, on the way to the barracks, suddenly, a seemingly illogical, serious stomachache attacked me, followed by an extreme urge to shit. If I did not make it to the barracks in time, I would have soiled my JROTC uniform. When we got to the barracks, I rushed to the latrine, ripped down my clothes, and listened as diarrhoea exploded loudly and easily from my body. The ordeal sounded like an attempt to squeeze the last of a nearly empty ketchup bottle, but with the sound amplified by 100% and a faecal volcanic eruption. Not only was the bowel movement painful, but it also stank up much of the latrine area and part of the barracks. The trio approached me and the leader informed that they slipped a laxative in my drink for "getting them in trouble," but I never told on them. They ridiculed me for the smell. Afterwards, nearly everyone in the entire barracks besides my own unit laughed at me and ridiculed my incident. Because of that, I sought revenge, but did not inform the commanders of the incident, as others would have been calling me a "snitch" or "tattle-tale" to accompany the shitting ridicule.
The next day, after completing our Sunday tasks with our units, we had dinner in the dining facility. I volunteered to serve everyone in the dining facility their dinner that evening, witnessing some people look at me in a sneaky manner and hearing them snicker about what happened last night in the barracks, but I did not let it get to me. I served the trio their food, complete with glasses of tea. The trio flashed me some rather mean looks before they accepted their food and dug in. After we ate, on the way to the barracks, I noticed the trio acting fidgety as they hurried to the latrine. The trio rushed to the stalls, yanked down their pants, and crapped the noisiest diarrhoea that I ever heard that echoed in the latrine. Two of them even had brown watery shit stains in their panties. I called the rest of the cadets to look at the trio on the toilet and they were the constant butt of people's jokes, as the cadets then forgot about my incident. I slipped some of their own laxative in their food that I stole from them as they slept. Many cadets found it ironic how the trio known for picking on others for shitting wound up shitting themselves in the most embarrassing fashion. When we returned to school on Monday, our unit celebrated as we successfully earned our stripes, and the trio, well, they were shit out of luck.
Jonnybiii
Jeanette's upset ????
Her name was Jeanette. She was a beautiful girl, with snow-white skin and a figure to die for, for she was of lean built and yet curvy.. Abercrombie shirts suited her best..
Anyway, about a week ago.. I was having lunch with Jeanette and we decided to go to a Malaysian restaurant in texas to try out their so-called "LAKSA", which was really spicy but I found it really exhilarating at the same time! I was full of praises for it but Jeanette seemed really quiet and she just kept asking for more water from the waiters, perhaps it was too spicy for her..
Soon after, she looked rather pale and without a word she just ran off to the bathroom which was a unisex toilet just opposite the street.. I was worried because she left without a word so fast that I decided to pay the bill and follow her..
You could say I took advantage of her urgency. When she reached the toilet, she slammed open the door and wanted to close it back but I stopped her.. She was holding her stomach with her right hand and her buttocks with her other, she said, "OH BOYY.. FORGET IT!", she just ran straight to the bowl while I entered the unisex bathroom and closed the door behind me.
Jeanette, for the first time, not so gracefully, pulled down her short shorts and lifted her abercrombie shirt slightly revealing her belly button.. She sat down with a thud I heard what sounded like thick, watery, mud flowing out of her into the toilet.. "ohhhhh.....urrrghh..ohh man. it hurrtttss".. Almost simultaeneously, there was an acrid, foul, rotten-egg like smell that filled the toilet as her fountains turned into explosions of gas and undigested laksa... Now she folded her arms and pressed them against her delicate ???? as she bent forward and released more stinking piles of mud water...
I was stunned initially but i decided that she was my girlfriend and it was only right that i would comfort her.. I walked towards her and held her hand as she began to cry and place her lips on my knuckles..She had always had a sensitive stomach I i made a mistkae bringing her to that place to eat that kind of food...
Saturday, June 16, 2012
Johnny Half-Pint
@Mrs Toilet Trooper -- Survey Results
Age: 40
Gender: Male
1. How often do you have to shit? Between 1 and 3 times a day.
2. Are you a folder (you carefully and neatly fold the toilet paper) or a crumpler (you just grab a wad of toilet paper)? A folder.
3. Are you an inspector? (An inspector checks the toilet paper after each wipe to examine the faecal content on the sheet to see if further wiping is required). Yes -- I always check the paper to see whether or not I have finished wiping.
4. Are you a stander or sitter? (A stander stands up after defecating so he/she can wipe his/her bottom, a sitter keeps seated for this). I'm a stander.
5. Are you a double-dipper? (A double-dipper will wipe more than once with the same piece of toilet paper) I fold the paper between wipes so the s#!t is towards the inside, leaving a clean surface with which to wipe again.
6. Do you use moist wipes or wet your toilet paper? Only in extreme cases. Most of the time, no.
7. Do you read in the latrine? Sometimes.
8. If so, how often do you read? Not every time I go. Sometimes I just want to get my business done and get out again.
9. How do you sit when using the toilet? Fairly centrally. Other times, I will leave the seat up and just hover over the WC.
10. Do you inspect what you've left in the bowl before flushing? Always.
11. How far down do you pull your pants/underwear? Depends. Last thing at night or anytime immediately before the shower or getting changed, off altogether. First thing in the morning, I have nothing to pull down. Otherwise, down to the knees. Down to the thighs if it's really cold.
12. If you flush but there is still some left, do you flush again until it's all gone? Yes. While the cistern is refilling for the second flush, I ill use the time to wash my hands and straighten my clothes.
13. To wipe, do you reach your hand between your legs, or do you reach your hand around your backside? I reach around.
14. Once you start wiping, do you wipe from front to back, back to front, or some other way? Front to back.
15. Do you usually wipe until you are totally clean, or just until most of it is gone? I keep wiping and inspecting until the paper comes back clean, then give it one more wipe for luck.
16. Do you try to avoid shitting in public restrooms when other people are there? In *public* facilities where only strangers are around, I am less bothered than in the *shared* facilities at work with my co-workers around. Though once I have heard someone's business noises, or they have heard mine, I am no longer so bothered because the ice has already been broken.
17. At home, do you usually shit with the latrine door open when somebody else is around? I usually close the door if other people are around and awake. My cat will sometimes force it open, though!
18. Do you drop a few squares of toilet paper in the bowl before you start, to stop water/pee from bouncing up into your ass? No. British WCs are generally of the "washdown" pattern. There is only a small amount of water at in the trap at the bottom of the basin, and it does not usually bounce back far enough to reach you.
19. Do you use air freshener (or light a match) after you go to the latrine? I keep a supply of joss sticks and a cigarette lighter in the bathroom, for use in emergencies.
I START by tearing off 3 sheets of paper (about 36 cm.); which I at once fold in half (18 cm.) I then commence the WIPE CYCLE as follows: reach around behind myself with my right hand, using my left hand to pull my bum cheeks apart; wipe upwards, withdraw the paper and inspect it. If there is any fæcal matter on the paper, reset clean wipes count to zero; otherwise, increase clean wipes count. If we have two clean wipes in a row, discard paper and FINISH. If paper is 9 cm. or longer, fold in half and resume WIPE CYCLE. Otherwise, toss paper in WC and resume from START.
(Did I mention that I'm a programmer by trade?)
J1/2P
Shortie
Update-im 7 weeks + 1 day today. I have been struggling with this pregnancy quite badly so much so that i was admitted to hospital with dehydration last week. Couldnt keep anything down. Whilst there i discovered im having twins. That may explain my struggles with pooping. Since i last wrote in ive really been struggling. I last went on monday but it took 25 mins to go. Feel the need to go now so im going to try. Here goes-uhhhhhhhhhhhh, uhhhhhhhhhhhh, nothing. Uhhhhhhhhhhhh, uhhhhhhhhhhhh, coming. Uhhhhhhhhhhhh. PLIP, PLIP. Very small logs. UHHHHHHHHHH. PLOP, PLOP, PLIP-PLIP-PLOP. AHHH. As im having twins i will probably continue to struggle. I will wipe now. 2 big bits of toilet paper and 2 smaller bits. Wait. Im not done. Need to poop some more. Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Wow it wont come but i need to go. I know i do. UHHHHHHHHHHHHH, UHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Its poking out and emerging slowly. PLOP, PLOP, PLOP. I now believe im finally done. It took 35 mins to go. Ive got 7 more months of this. GREAT!! BYE.Anne & David
Anne - here are my answers to the survey
1. How often do you have to shit? 2 or 3 times a week
2. Are you a folder (you carefully and neatly fold the toilet paper) or a crumpler (you just grab a wad of toilet paper)? folder
3. Are you an inspector? Yes.
4. Are you a stander or sitter? (A stander stands up after defecating so he/she can wipe his/her bottom, a sitter keeps seated for this). Sitter.
5. Are you a double-dipper? (A double-dipper will wipe more than once with the same piece of toilet paper). No
6. Do you use moist wipes or wet your toilet paper? Yes I prefer moists to dry toilet paper.
7. Do you read in the toilet? Not usually.
8. If so, how often do you read? Not applicable
9. How do you sit when using the toilet? Upright
10. Do you inspect what you've left in the bowl before flushing? Always and in detail
11. How far down do you pull your pants/underwear? Only down to my knees.
12. If you flush but there is still some left, do you flush again until it's all gone? Often my turds are too big to flush away. If i have done it in a public etc toilet I just leave it.
13. To wipe, do you reach your hand between your legs, or do you reach your hand around your backside? Between my legs to dry my vulva round the back to wipe my anus
14. Once you start wiping, do you wipe from front to back, back to front, or some other way? Front to back like most females.
15. Do you usually wipe until you are totally clean, or just until most of it is gone? as clean as possible.
16. Do you try to avoid shitting in public restrooms when other people are there? No this does not bother me at all as long as the toilet is clean.
17. At home, do you usually shit with the latrine door open when somebody else is around? Yes if it is only David and I at home otherwise I close the door.
18. Do you drop a few squares of toilet paper in the bowl before you start, to stop water/pee from bouncing up into your ass? Never.
19. Do you use air freshener (or light a match) after you go to the toilet? Only if my poo has been very smelly, example eating eggs.
David's Answers
1. How often do you have to shit? 2 or 3 times a week like Anne
2. Are you a folder (you carefully and neatly fold the toilet paper) or a crumpler (you just grab a wad of toilet paper)? folder
3. Are you an inspector? Yes.
4. Are you a stander or sitter? (A stander stands up after defecating so he/she can wipe his/her bottom, a sitter keeps seated for this). Sitter.
5. Are you a double-dipper? (A double-dipper will wipe more than once with the same piece of toilet paper). No
6. Do you use moist wipes or wet your toilet paper? Yes I use moists
7. Do you read in the toilet? Very seldom
8. If so, how often do you read? very seldom
9. How do you sit when using the toilet? Bent slightly forward
10. Do you inspect what you've left in the bowl before flushing? Always ever since I was a kid
11. How far down do you pull your pants/underwear? Down to my knees.
12. If you flush but there is still some left, do you flush again until it's all gone? Often my turds are too big to flush away just like Anne's . If doing it in a public toilet we just leave our poos.
13. To wipe, do you reach your hand between your legs, or do you reach your hand around your backside? Between my legs to dry my penis round the back to wipe my anus
.14. Once you start wiping, do you wipe from front to back, back to front, or some other way? Dry penis and anus separately.
15. Do you usually wipe until you are totally clean, or just until most of it is gone? Wipe until totally clean
16. Do you try to avoid shitting in public restrooms when other people are there? No as long as the pan and seat are clean and the stall has a door
17. At home, do you usually shit with the toilet door open when somebody else is around? Yes if it is only Anne and I at home otherwise I close the door.
18. Do you drop a few squares of toilet paper in the bowl before you start, to stop water/pee from bouncing up into your ass? No I have never done this.
19. Do you use air freshener (or light a match) after you go to the toilet? Only if my poo has been very smelly.
Drinking guy
Slow leak
The thing I like about getting drunk is drinking till I'm about to pee my pants, then I like holding myself running to the toilet. One cold dry winters night I was watching a football game from outside the stadium, watching it on the big screen. I was drinking cans of bourbon and cola and enjoyed the feeling of my bladder building up, holding on tight. Then a bit later I looked down at my jeans and noticed they were wet. I had been slow leaking in my pants without even knowing it!
Natalie X
To Chelsea
I like to pee with my friends, but I try to not poo as its way too embarrassing when I go. They'll laugh at how loud I am or run as it smells so bad. Either way I'm not keen on doing number 2 with them.
Definitely not, although sometimes I'm caught short or on with my bf's. I'm not lucky in that department at all!
I fart ridiculous amounts when pooing. I really can't help it, I don't know why but I'm always soo gassy. In public restrooms I end up making a fool of myself because I just can't keep quiet when taking a dump. Sometimes the huge relief is worth the embarrassment but not always.
Natalie xPooperlady
Pooping and peeing at the same time
In response to Chelsea, I do poop and pee at the same time sometimes. I usually pee first, and then poop, and let out bits of pee while pooping. If I really have to poop badly, the poop starts to come out first, or I poop and pee at the same time.PN
OK, lots of people are doing this survey...
1. How often do you have to shit? Usually once or twice a day, unless I've got stomach upset when it's more.
2. Are you a folder (you carefully and neatly fold the toilet paper) or a crumpler (you just grab a wad of toilet paper)? folder
3. Are you an inspector? Yes.
4. Are you a stander or sitter? (A stander stands up after defecating so he/she can wipe his/her bottom, a sitter keeps seated for this). Sitter.
5. Are you a double-dipper? (A double-dipper will wipe more than once with the same piece of toilet paper). Yes, but I fold it over once before using it again.
6. Do you use moist wipes or wet your toilet paper? No.
7. Do you read in the latrine? At home sometimes, but usually not.
8. If so, how often do you read? Not sure, maybe once or twice a week.
9. How do you sit when using the toilet? Forward, knees a bit apart usually.
10. Do you inspect what you've left in the bowl before flushing? Sometimes, but not usually, and not very closely.
11. How far down do you pull your pants/underwear? At home, usually to my ankles or sometimes completely off, just around the knees elsewhere.
12. If you flush but there is still some left, do you flush again until it's all gone? Yes.
13. To wipe, do you reach your hand between your legs, or do you reach your hand around your backside? Between my legs.
14. Once you start wiping, do you wipe from front to back, back to front, or some other way? Not sure if I have a consistent pattern.
15. Do you usually wipe until you are totally clean, or just until most of it is gone? Depends-- generally as clean as possible, but sometimes I give up before the paper comes out completely clean.
16. Do you try to avoid shitting in public restrooms when other people are there? In general, yes, although I'll go if I really need to.
17. At home, do you usually shit with the latrine door open when somebody else is around? No.
18. Do you drop a few squares of toilet paper in the bowl before you start, to stop water/pee from bouncing up into your ass? No.
19. Do you use air freshener (or light a match) after you go to the latrine? No.oldpoop
A most satisfying b.m.
Yesterday I worked all day at an election, checking people in to vote and performing other duties, from 5 a.m. to after 8 p.m. I had gotten up at 3:30, had an early rushed breakfast, and managed a decent--though perhaps not complete--bowel movement before leaving to go to the polling place. I was having mild heart issues in the morning, so I did little heavy lifting; but sitting at the computer was no problem. I had the vague feeling of needing to finish my earlier b.m., but nothing urgent enough to make me go to the bathroom to attempt it. I had a light and haphazard lunch during a lull in the voting (well away from the computer, of course), and afterward the vague feeling of rectal fullness became a bit more noticeable. Finally, at about 3:20 p.m., I decided to try for another movement. The polling place was in an elementary school, with a boys' bathroom right next to the faculty men's room. I had visited the men's room an hour or so earlier, thinking about trying for a poop, but someone was in the only stall, so I just urinated in the urinal and left. At 3:20, though, the stall was unoccupied, so I went in. At first, results were unpromising: I pushed quite hard and did not even pass any gas. I tried again half a minute later, and the full feeling got more intense. After a couple more hard pushes, I felt the hard beginning of a turd begin to emerge. I had to push constantly, very hard (my heart wasn't happy with me). I could feel every inch of that turd, stretching my anus wide open and slowly coming out. I had to stop for breath several times and then renew my pushing. In one way the process was rather painful; I hadn't had to push that hard in a long time. In another way it was very satisfying: I was really getting out a big one, worthy of the effort. Finally, after what must have been a couple of minutes of constant pushing, I felt the big piece taper and drop. I stopped pushing and felt my anus relax back into its normal shape. I wiped--it took only two passes--and stood up to look. The movement had come out as one piece but had broken into four chunks in the water; I'd guess the original turd was about 10" long and about 1.3" or 1.4" thick, solid and hard from beginning to end. I felt empty, relieved, satisfied. An excellent dump, conducted in private and in secret, about which my co-workers at the polls knew nothing.
Post Title (optional)John-on-the-John
Hello Afro - I think many of us guys have felt embarrassed about sitting on the toilet at school. Not such a problem for girls, as they are always in that position. I agree with what Mark says to you - it is perfectly normal. Perhaps it's the most important activity we do every day. If anybody sees you, you are not doing anything wrong. You are doing something sensible. You say you like the relief of pooping, in general. Concentrate on enjoying it, as I did before writing this email - it's a pleasurable feeling as it leaves my bottom and splashes into the water. Pure music. - like Handel's 'Water Music'. And to quote a friend of mine, "It's a load off your mind."
I have made several contributions to this thread recently, including how I and my best pals had to alter our routine when we started leaving home earlier to catch a bus when we changed schools. We stood guard for each other while one of us occupied a cubicle. After a few weeks, we had all managed to alter our routine so that we could go at home - our bowels adapted to our earlier breakfast, and after that we only used the school toilet except for the urinals, several times a day - though of course everyone has diarrhea occasionally.
But during those few weeks adjustment, one thing which was good was that we learned that in life you DO sometimes have to sit on the toilet away from home. On school field trips away from home, we all knew when each of us did that. Follow Mark's advice and say 'Well we all do it, and so do you.' You say you are black. I'm white. This activity, as most ones, have nothing to do with the colour of our skin. We are all human beings.
I don't know whether you are in the United States or not, I understand that in some schools they don't have doors on the cubicles. I can remember an old school which I visited for an evening class in the UK, where the doors of the cubicles had a bit cut out at the side, where teachers could look through. I never had to use the cubicles, only the urinals.
You say you might start to post more often. You will find anonymous friends who will help you. And you sound an interesting guy.Blaine
I've been browsing here for a while, but first time post. I'm a male.
To respond to Chelsea, I typically pee first unless I have bad diarrhea :)
I also am usually very gassy, and fart up a storm hahaha.
Nikki
Survey Answers
Age: 18
Gender: Female
1. How often do you have to shit?
about 3 or 4 times a day.
2. Are you a folder (you carefully and neatly fold the toilet paper) or a crumpler (you just grab a wad of toilet paper)?
folder.
3. Are you an inspector? (An inspector checks the toilet paper after each wipe to examine the fecal content on the sheet to see if further wiping is required) yes. haha.
4. Are you a stander or sitter? (A stander stands up after defecating so he/she can wipe his/her bottom, a sitter keeps seated for this)
mostly a sitter, but on occasion, i do stand.
5. Are you a double-dipper? (A double-dipper will wipe more than once with the same piece of toilet paper) yes.
6. Do you use moist wipes or wet your toilet paper? i use wipes.
7. Do you read in the latrine? no.
8. If so, how often do you read? look at the previous question.
9. How do you sit when using the toilet? most of the time, i sit normally but sometimes, I'll spread my legs or squat over the toilet.
10. Do you inspect what you've left in the bowl before flushing? every time.
11. How far down do you pull your pants/underwear? well, i poop naked most of the time but if i don't feel like taking everything off, I'll just take my panties and pants off.
12. If you flush but there is still some left, do you flush again until it's all gone? yes.
13. To wipe, do you reach your hand between your legs, or do you reach your hand around your backside? between my legs.
14. Once you start wiping, do you wipe from front to back, back to front, or some other way? front to back.
15. Do you usually wipe until you are totally clean, or just until most of it is gone? until I'm clean.
16. Do you try to avoid shitting in public restrooms when other people are there? yes.
17. At home, do you usually shit with the latrine door open when somebody else is around? no.
18. Do you drop a few squares of toilet paper in the bowl before you start, to stop water/pee from bouncing up into your ass? hahahaha! no!
19. Do you use air freshener (or light a match) after you go to the latrine? nope.
Brandon T
daily dump
I just took a good sized dump in the bookstore again it was about 6 inches long and an a inch and half wide and smooth and kinda soft and one small soft as well it was light brown and it felt great coming out.
Valerie
Chelsea's Questions 2193
Hi Chelsea,
Yes honey I always pee as I am pooping. I cannot remember when I didn't. There are occasions when I poop first, when I have the 'run' then my poop shoots out of me, but I always follow up with a pee. As for farting, again that depends on what I have eaten, is it food that I like but that doesn't like me. Any green vegetables except Peas always make me fart a lot. It's when I have eaten a lot of green food that I really spray the pan. If I have had fruit at the same time then when I feel the first intimation that I need to go I make a run for the nearest toilet.
Recently I'd had a Sunday dinner of Beef with vegetables followed by a fruit salad. On the Monday, before work, I had a really long poop, lots of farts and watery poop. Then driving to work my stomach started to ache really badly. Getting held up by traffic lights on the way in to work didn't help either. As I parked my car I wanted to poop so badly I was getting out of the car clenching my buttocks tightly together. Taking the lift up to the office Thelma, one of the personal in the outer office, came up with me. She asked if I was okay saying that I looked tense. I told her I wanted to go the loo badly. Thelma said she needed to go as well. Getting out of the lift I started to walk towards the ladies room with Thelma but feeling I was already pooping I started to run, in a crouch holding a hand under my bum (why do women hold there hand under the bum?). I pushed open the outer door of the ladies room and dashed in. Two of the line of six toilets were occupied. I scrambled to the next vacant stall almost crying in desperation. As I lifted my skirt I started to poop, unable to hold it in any longer. I bent over the pan as I slid my panties down. I pooped over the back of the pan and down the side, then I was peeing, still in a crouch not being able to sit on the toilet. When the first explosion came to an end I was able to grip my panties and by pushing from the crotch and lifting my hand I was able to tip the poop in my panties into the pan. At last I sat on the toilet, feeling my bum touching the wooden seat, sinking down with relief, not bothering that I had pooped all over the seat. I could hear Thelma in the stall next to me taking her panties down. She started to pee first then I heard her plop plopping as she pooped. I pooped again, my ???? aching so badly, I was sitting forward pressing my hands into my belly trying to relieve the pain. I groaned as I farted and pooped again. Thelma asked me again if I was alright. I told her I had pooped my panties and had a terrible ???? ache. I looked at my panties then, gingerly, I lifted one leg as I lowered them and took them off my one foot, trying to make sure that the soiled panties touched my stockings, then I bent right down and lifting my other foot I slid my dirty panties off and dropped them into the sanitary towel bin. I ripped toilet paper and started to wipe my thighs clean. Then I was pooping a third time, farting and peeing at the same time. I felt better after that burst, empty almost. I sat and breathed in, then pushed hard. I farted again and felt just a tiny splash before my ???? ache ceased. I relaxed for a few minutes before starting to clean myself up. Thelma was wiping her bum then and told me she would come in and help me. I heard her flushing the toilet then tapping on my stall door. I unlocked the door and let her in. Thelma asked me to stand up then she used toilet paper to clean me up before finally taking some wet wipes from her shoulder-bag to wipe my bum and thighs. I was so grateful, but I knew that whether it was Thelma, or Barbara, or Petra, whoever, they would have helped me. It's something at our office that is done automatically, whenever anybody wants help in the ladies, help is always there.
Wednesday, June 13, 201
2
John-on-the-John
Hi, Leo - Newcomer. (Page 2192). To me, you are a very welcome newcomer, and I hope you will make further contributions.
I like sharing and learning things on this thread, of an intimate nature, which most of us don't discuss with other people, but which are a vital part of life. We can be anonymous. Thank you for the thoughtful way in which you describe the issues involved in taking a dump outside, and it is sensible to try this before you need to do it in emergency. Basically, I agree with your method. My main physical exercise is in walking, and sometimes if I want to start out early in the morning, I sleep in my car. When getting out of my sleeping bag, I use my battery-charged razor, get some hot water out of one of my flasks, and make a cup of coffee. I go outside and stand for a pee, and then get an apple and some sandwiches prepared before I left home. Within a few minutes, things start to gurgle inside, and it's time to undo my jeans.
This is my usual procedure:
1 I look for a decent, secluded spot, and would agree with you about a fallen tree trunk, or a long log (the wooden kind!). For those of us in Western culture who have grown up to sit rather than squat, a horizontal trunk or log meets most of the requirements. (I HAVE squatted on toilets in the European mainland, and occasionally in the open air, but it requires acrobatic skills.) One hazard of this though is that in the UK, people often take dogs for a walk in the woods early in the morning, and when you have found what you think is a secluded spot, the dogs may decide to explore. Also, if I have to squat, I try to avoid a steep slope.
2 I carry some paper handkerchiefs and wet wipes in my car or rucksack in such situations. It's especially important to clean yourself properly, when you are hiking - otherwise you can become very sore between your legs. (Some guys use dock-leaves - I did once!)
3 Carrying a trowel can add to the weight you are carrying, if you haven't got a car with you. You can often find a twig to dig a hole with. Of course, I agree with covering up everything with something heavy, especially used toilet paper, which can be blown about in wind.
4 Mosquitoes in late summer. Tell me about them! In Northern Scotland they can be particularly bad, and no doubt regard human rump steak as a delicacy. Fortunately I have always managed to do the operation in question, in a toilet in a youth hostel or a bothy. Many of these are primitive, but better than in the open air.
One Scottish bothy I stayed in was situated in a valley between some high mountains (high by British standards). You got washed in the stream which ran down the mountain side, below the bothy, because spring water was used for drinks, cooking, etc, and we didn't want it contaminated. Inside the men's chemical toilet, there was a notice saying 'Guys - please urinate elsewhere.' We found somewhere that girls couldn't see us at the back of an old desolate building where we could 'stand and deliver'. I stayed several nights at this bothy, and in the toilet hut there was a gap above the door, and several mornings as I sat thudding* away, I could see eagles flying in the mountains opposite, and if the weather was clear, I took my binoculars in with me. Not many can have watched eagles while sitting on the toilet. Perhaps they could be more hazardous than mosquitoes if they were fascinated by part of my anatomy, which I possess, being a guy!
* I say 'thudding', because in non-WCs, there isn't enough liquid to hear yourself plopping in the water. You are sitting above used toilet paper and other people's deposits. The chemicals usually reduce the smell, in my experience.
Chelsea
I was at a track meet with one of my girlfriends one day. When she said she had to go to the bathroom I followed for i neede a number 2.
When we got to the bathrooms i took the far left stall and she took the far right one.
We both started out with a long pee. Then all of a sudden I heard my friend fart and then I heard a plop. Then she farted again and two more plops came out. By now I let out a fart and two poops. I farted two more times than pushed out two plops. I heard my friend pee and plop at the same time. I pushed out another turd and then we were both done.
How many of u girls poop and pee at the same time :]
Do you pee or poop first boy?
How many of u fart well pooping?Story Teller
Been a long time since I posted, but I've been lurking about. Rather then sharing a old childhood memory this time, I'm posting about a occurence just yesterday. I had to go, so I knocked on the bathroom door. No one replied, so I figured it was empty and entered. Well, I was wrong; my older sister was in there. She had headphones in for a MP3, so she didn't hear me knock. Though since the toilet faces the door, she did notice me opening it. Her jeans and underwear were pushed firmly down around her ankles and unless the smell was from someone else earlier, she was pooping. I quickly apologized and stepped back out. 5 minutes later, the toilet flushed twice and she stepped out. I told her about how I'd knocked and she said it was her fault for not listening. Considering it all, I think she might have just been constipated and was trying to pass the time.That's all for now, but I might get back around to posting stories from when I was little.Hanna
I don't have a lot of time right now for a full-length post, so instead I'll share a quick story from my childhood.
The first time I remember clogging the toilet was when I was nine. I'd had an exceptionally large meal a few days before. I was not used to having to flush in the middle of a BM yet. My dad unclogged the toilet for me that time. A few years later, when I was eleven or twelve, I was eating a lot more because of my growth spurt, so I clogged the toilet almost every time I moved my bowels. That was when I began to have to do the plunging myself and it was gross. I learned to flush in the middle so the toilet could handle it.
Alright, that's all I have time for. Sorry I can't post any more right now.Mr. Clogs
Comments
Lauren: Hi there, long time, good to see you back. Peeing in the car may sound awkward to some, but you know kids have to go they got to go. Thanks for your posts and keep us posted if anything.
oldpoop: It's always good to examine your poop after you make it. If I eat a salad sometimes little trances of lettuces leaves in my poop. What about the smell? Sometimes my poop would smell like the foods I've ate the day before.
Mrs. Toilet Trooper: Interesting post title and interesting story about you taking a nice pee and poop into the toilet to end up clogging it up! Wow that's a lot toilet paper and poop that the plumber had to unclog to flush it all way. keep us posted. Thanks.
Well got to go and drop some turds and a lot of pee into the toilet. My morning cup of coffee is getting things moving. Later.
Mr. ClogsErica (Car Mom Reader)
Thanks, Lauren!
Lauren, thanks so much for the advise. I also don't care for the poop stories, but every once in a while someone like you or Car Mom comes up with something that I enjoy reading. It has been a while since Car Mom has posted, but I suppose like you nothing new has happened with her, and I can see where she wouldn't want to be typing the same thing all the time. Anyway thanks for the advise, I did actually go ahead and let my daughter pee in the car. Yesterday was Saturday and there wasn't really anything we had to do, so I figured it would be a good day to do it. She liked it, but it did make a little bit of a mess. When she peed it soaked into the cushion like I thought it would, but it also spread a lot across the surface first, so it made a pretty big stain in the seat. So far I haven't gotten it all the way out. The other day I had talked to my husband about letting our daughter pee in the car, and he said that he didn't mind if she did it as long as we cleaned it up as best we could. Well, it was pretty hard to clean it, and it still isn't completely clean, so we probably won't do it anymore. But at least we tried it. I may consider trying it one more time and have her sit as far back in the seat as she can, like you said, Lauren. Also, you had asked where else she has peed. Nowhere as exciting, just in the sink, on the floor (not carpet), in the bathtub, into the clothes in the laundry basket, and a couple times in her bed. I'm considering letting her pee in the couch, under the cushions, but I'll have to talk to my husband about it. Take care, Lauren!
Random post- live pooping
I'm currently sitting on the toilet with a lot hangin out of me. I'm not really sure why, but I've been really constipated lately. I've gone about four or so days without pooping, but luckily I was home alone today when my bowels started to announce their need. So far I've dropped out a couple pebbles, but nothing really substantial. This log is bigger, but really dry And hard. It's been hanging for a while and it's beginning to get a little painful. It's moving nOw- it broke off quite small a maybe four inches, but the rest of it's still inside me. I'm pushing now- no movement. Good think I'm alone to push this out of me. It feels weird going with the door open- I hope nobody gets back while I'm still on here. I've been siting for a while, think I'm goin to squat for a bit. That usually helps me get things moving. That helped a little- a bit of gas and I feel something primed to come out. Ouch- it's wide and coming out of it's own accord. Wow! It's pretty big, and I think that's it. I'm going to flush and hope it goes down- a little bit of trouble, but down it goes. Time to wipe-it's dry enough to where there's not too much of a mess. A 20 second or so pee, wash my hands, and I'm done. Thanks for reading , sorry it got a bit long