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Ski Lift Wreck
If my husband found out about this, I'd die of embarassment- but I read the other posts and decided to share this... major accident in my pants over the long weekend. We went up skiing with some friends- a bunch of us all crammed into a condo that had only one bathroom. The first morning I was lucky enough to beat everyone to the bathroom in the morning (I'm very regular that way). But the next day, between the kids and all, I decided to wait until we got to the mountain. Well, we get there and there's a line out the door! No problem, I figured I'd ride up the chairlift and use the toilet at the top. My bowels are beginning to complain, but I figured I could handle it...until halfway up the chairlift grinds to a stop. Now I'm stuck, really stuck. Meanwhile, my lower intestine is doing the frug, and I'm beginning to think that this thing doesn't start moving soon, I'm going to be having a movement of my own- right here in my snow pants. Five minutes, ten minutes...I try ! shifting my position so ease the pressure and release a blast of gas, uh-oh a prelude fart. Fifteen minutes, twenty...now I clamp my butt cheeks together and sit on the building anal pressure. Just when I'm starting to sweat, the chairlift starts to move again. I'm squirming big time, counting the seconds. The top of the mountain comes in view, and I started to relax- big mistake. I feel my butthole quiver and start to loosen, poop is beginning to come out! I bear down to stop it, and it stops- stuck half in and half out. Damage control, damage control- panties report minor stains, but the worst is yet to come. The chairlift comes to an end, and I see the peak lodge and its toilet beckoning. I stand up to ski off the lift, and a bad thing happens, a very bad thing. Maybe if was not having my ass pressed against the chairlift seat. Maybe it was moving the muscles in my thighs and legs to ski off the chair. Whatever I did, the dam broke- I felt a loss of control, a pushing of wet soft excrement into my panties, spreading over my behind. Adding insult to injury, my bladder decides to squirt too, but I'm able to control myself after the first wave.I don't know what the expression was on my face, but hubby did't seem to notice- and the white goretex ski pants gave no clue what oozed below their surface. Waving my husband off (I'll see you at the bottom...)I skied over to the lodge, feeling this funny load between my legs. Now I know what a baby must feel like! In the ladies room (alone, thank god) I survey the ruins of my underwear. Panties are a total loss- wet and brown and caked. Long underwear are salvagable, minor brown stains between the legs where the panties got overloaded, and dampness in front, but they'll have to do. I go through ten minutes of gymnastics in the toilet booth wiping myself off, ditching the panties and re-dressing. Back to normal (well, close to normal) and off for a day on the slopes with no one the wiser. And the moral of the story...don't put off till later what you should do now, and carry spare underwear at all times, because you never know...