My puke story is one day last year me and my friends decided to to have a slumber party,since my friend's karen's parent's were away on buisness we were going to have it at her house.When we got settled and everything one of my friends wanted to watch one of those adult movies or something.So while we were watching it which by the way was really disgusting. me and one of my other friends didn't feel good but we didn't mind it. We continued watching it when all of a sudden I got really painful cramps and a nauseous feeling in my stomach.My other friend bethanne asked me what was wrong and I told her that I think I was going to throw-up so she took me up stairs to my bathroom when I just about entered the door when a mouthful of greenish vomit came gushing out of my mouth.MY other friend tina who wasn't feeling well came running up the steps with my other friend shyane not able to make it to the toilet
brownish yellow color of puke came forcefully out of hers. When I finally! mad it to the toliet I spent almost all night retching and gagging.WHen tina had finished about 10 minutes from when she started.Bethanne was there all night with me until about six a.m. when her face turned green and she started to throwup to. when we both finished we went back down stairs and got into bed.I still dont now what caused tina and I to get sick.
Here's one of my most memorable experiences being sick. My husband was taking me on a roadtrip last year to show me the heart of Dixie where he'd been stationed during his time in the service and I ended up sick (only for a brief amount of time) before we reached our destination, due to the grease in the chicken we bought for lunch. DH likes to "eat on the run" as he calls it when traveling so our meals enroute consisted entirely of fast foods. I'll never forget the large bucket of extra crispy chicken (MY idea) we bought when we stopped in San Antonio. I ate probably six pieces over a period of time. DH hates chicken so he was content with his ever present big-assed mug of coffee and bag of stale cheeseburgers from Mcdonald's we'd bought when we first embarked on the trip. I dozed off after having ingested all that greasiness without any coleslaw or bread or anything to offset the grease and woke up later with a VERY upset stomach which is really an understatement. I felt que! asy but not quite ready to throw up yet. I took rolaids but they didn't do much good other than make me pass gas and belch which brought with it the taste of bile. I knew it was time to pull over when my mouth began to water and I got that feeling in the back of my throat so he pulled over at the next rest stop somewhere in Mississippi (with good timing as we saw the sign right after I told him I was ready to be sick). I felt my stomach filling rapidly but I managed to keep it down long enough to make it to the parking lot and just as I was stepping out of the car my mouth filled with vomit and immediately another gush forced everything out onto the pavement and splattered hard. A family stared at me in disgust but I couldn't help it. It was sooo gross-looking. I took a few steps towards the building trying to get inside to use the ladies room and it happened again but I was able to lean over onto the grass this time. I had to dirty my hand slightly to sever the long string of! vomit suspended from my lips before I continued my advance. When I made it to the door of the building I clamped my hands over my mouth and resolved to make it into the facilities as I broke into a mad dash. I rushed into a stall not bothering to latch the door behind me, knelt before the bowl, and went for broke. Normally when I'm sick to my stomach I like to use the bathroom before I start vomiting so I don't accidentally wet my undies due to the strain but in this case there wasn't time so I just had to hold it. NOW I was unleashing the most loud, awful retching noises as I TRIED to get my stomach empty; whereas when I threw up outside it was silent and INvoluntary. When I started my bilious serenade, the restroom quickly became unoccupied except for me <insert evil grin here> I heard someone say "eeww, somebody's throwing up!!". I felt as if I was throwing a month's worth of food out of my mouth. Each time I'd throw up until my stomach felt really empty, then I'd th! row up only bitter bile and then a few minutes later I'd feel more stuff working it's way up into my stomach from deeper down until my stomach felt ever so full again and then I'd begin all over again with renewed vigor. It's just the WORST feeling having all that stuff gushing out of your mouth. This happened like three or four times and it tasted and smelled worse each time. I was splashed in the face constantly each time the barf hit the water and by the time I was done my face and part of my blouse and arms were totally soaked with dirty water! When I could throw up no more I wiped off everything with toilet paper and washed up thoroughly before going back out to face the music. On a funnier note, the toilet stopped up from all the t.p. I tried to flush down with my vomit! Janitors are really underrated and underpaid I think. They're the unsung heroes. I must have looked and smelled awful even though I gave myself an emergency semi-shampoo and semi-laundry with the ha! nd soap courtesy of the restroom. DH took one look at me and asked me "what happened to you, did a water pipe burst in there?" I just had to laugh. My stomach was still feeling "jumpy" as I sipped a cold soft drink and burped until I felt better. DH had moved the car a few spaces down away from the mess I'd made but it was worth the walk to go get a clean blouse and my toothbrush. While I was brushing my teeth in the facilities I gagged on the toothbrush and brought up a mouthful of the soda I'd just drunk but that was more or less just a reflex action. I felt a lot better. The rest of the trip was pleasant as can be (after stopping at a motel and having a REAL shower and shampoo). I still get goose bumps/the shivvers when I think of fried chicken now. I think I'll just stick to Mcdonalds!
Does anyone have any great New Years or Christmas puke stories (not just getting drunk, but those are funny too. I have one for new years even though it is kind of dull. I went to my friend's house for new years a couple years ago, and she had been sick for a while with a bad cough. (I was about 13) She said that sometimes she coughed so hard that she puked, but said that it hadn't happened in a few days. We just got back from going out to dinner, and in the car on the way home my friend was coughing uncontrollably, sometimes she even gagged. We walked into the house and she said her stomach hurt a little. I poid no attention to that. Then her stomach made a weird noise and her cheeks bulged, and she gulped. She yelled that she needed a bowl, and I couldn't find one so I told her to puke in the sink. She gagged and her whole dinner came pouring out. She didn't make it all the way to the sink and there were chunks on the floor. The second time it happened she had !
a bowl ready and heaved a few times into it, this was just when it had changed years. I asked her why she didn't throw up in the bathroom if she knew that she was going to, and she said a bowl was better.. The whole night I listened to her hurl into that tiny chunk-stained bowl. I'm sure the rest of you have better storues, so post them.
I threw up a lot from allday sickness a couple years ago, although I threw up just as much at times other than just mornings. Countless times have I thrown up in my wastebasket at work and once I even vomited on the floor in a local fast food chain during lunch while waiting in line because the nausea hit me without warning. This was during my early stages before I learned all the "tricks of the trade for moms-to-be". I quickly learned how fast it's possible to be overcome with nausea at a split second's notice. In the mornings after my initial vomitings (I kept one of those gigantic flower vases beside my bed lined with a trash can liner and some kitty litter because IMMEDIATELY upon waking I was often too overwhelmed with nausea to run to the bathroom), I'd eat a little shredded wheat and banana and some apple juice, the only thing that my stomach and taste buds could accept. In the car on the way to work sometimes the light would be red and unfortunately this forced me! to smell the greasy smells of breakfast cooking at the local restaurants and you can guess what happened next; yes, I got sick and deposited a charming puddle of bile right in my lap which I had to sit in and smell during the entire half hour drive back to my home. For this I started keeping an old handbag in the car, also with plastic liner and kitty litter after having had to lean out the car door one morning and throw up right there onto the street with other people staring in disgust. The light turned to green before I was finished and irrate drivers were behind me honking like crazy so I just closed the door and drove onward, stomach still lurching and my mouth was filling little by little with bile, which tasted just wonderful Yeccch!, I was only able to spit out once I'd pulled off the road into an empty bank parking lot. And folks, never try to spit a mouthful of puke out the window of a moving car, trust me on this one. You'll end up with it dripping off your chi! n onto your clothes, and it WILL take the paint off your car if you don't wash it off like right away. Been there, done that.
Mery xmas! Ok, a puke story from me that happened the other day when I became sick in a store. I think I just got a little too warm, that makes me feel nauseaous sometimes especially in the winter when I have a cold. I was shopping around for gifts and it was rather warm in the store. I had on a lot of winter clothes and soon I was sweating but I didn't want to take off my coat so I just walked around sweating not realizing yet that this could make me sick. Later I was really feeling uncomfortable and I felt funny in the knees and my hands got all shaky and everything but after my mouth began to keep watering I knew I was far past the point of no return. When I reach this point the only way to feel better is to puke and get it over with, then cool off, then I start to feel better. When I get like this my stomach doesn't really get upset, I mean, it didn't hurt or anything but I was beginning to get the urge to toss my cookies so I tried to cut this shopping trip short but there were still a few things I wanted to look at first. not a good idea. Because I started retching but I tried to keep it down till I could get home until I realized I'd better find a bathroom before or I might start puking all over the place. I really felt I might. I hate public bathrooms but sometimes you hafta use them in an emergency. By the time I got close to the bathroom I was retching pretty hard and I had one of my hands over my mouth (yeah, like that's really gonna make a difference?). No sooner had I entered the bathroom I lost control at once and I puked twice on the floor just in front of the door. It just sprayed out from between my fingers so I quickly took my puke covered hand away. It was a big one and my shoes caught some of the flack from when it hit the floor. Then I went into a stall and waited a few minutes and just as I thought was going to happen, I felt nauseous again so I let it go into the toilet, no pulling any punches this time but unfortunately I didn't get it all in there because I was standing up (hey, you expect me to get my face that close to a public toilet if I kneel, I don't *think* so!!). Big splashes and lots of them. While I was washing my face at the sink I felt nauseous one last time due to the sight of the mess on the floor, which by the way didn't smell like perfume either, so I went into a clean stall and had the dry heaves for like five minutes but all I could bring up was a little spit and phlegm. Somebody walked in and asked me if it was my puke that was on the floor so I just told her it wasn't mine but that I looked at it which made me feel sick so she left. I guess she was one of the employees there I don't know. When that was over with I had a hell of a time with cleaning my shoes and pants so that they wouldn't be too noticeable as all I had to use were those crappy brown paper towels in the dispenser. When I finally made it home I took a long shower and turned off the heat for ! a while and I felt a lot better. That's not the first time I've ever been sick from being in an overheated building. I used to get sick and puke regularly when I was in school in the winter when they really turned up the heat. If anyones interested in what I had to eat it was cereal and cream cheese bagel and a banana for breakfast, two pastrami sandwiches and a salad for lunch, and a Mcdonald's big mac combo for dinner a couple hours just before I got sick. Sure tasted awful and had a stench after it returned though. A sign my stomach must be pretty healthy I guess?
The worst time I have ever been sick was, by far, Xmas 1997. I was spending the holiday season alone, which sucked, but I wasn't going to let it stop me from enjoying myself at least a little bit. So, I spent all day cooking a very nice Xmas dinner for one and sat down to eat it. It was all right-- the stuffing tasted like crap, probably because it was my first attempt-- but the rest was good. I finished the whole meal off, and to keep my mind of the sheer suckiness of spending Xmas alone, I relaxed in front of the tube for a little MTV. I must have dozed off somewhere along the way, because I woke up on the floor feeling like complete and total shit.
I tried to pull myself up into a standing position, but I was so dizzy that I sat right back down again. I felt like my stomach was packed full of squirming, crawling worms. The kitchen still smelled like burnt stuffing, and as soon as I realized that, it was hell trying to keep my supper down long enough to get to a receptacle. I tried to stand once again, but it was impossible, and so I crawled to the bathroom. By this point my throat had that silky feeling that always comes when you know you're going to hurl and my mouth was rapidly filling up with saliva. I had to get to something fast. So, I crawled as fast as I could (and fell twice!) to get to the bathroom, and practically leaped to the toilet. I just had time to swallow once and take a breath, and then OUT! came the puke in a veritable waterfall.
The force of the vomit was so powerful that it threw me forward, and if I hadn't been steadying myself with my hands on the toilet, my face would've gone into the pukey water. A steady stream of chunks exploded out of my mouth and nose as I retched helplessly, unable to stop. The noise sounded deafening as it bounced off the bathroom walls, and my bangs were plastered to my forehead with sweat. There was just enough time to take a much-needed breath of air before the next round of heaving. Between bringing up everything in my stomach, I was cursed with tons of episodes of retching-gagging-choking dry heaves. Finally I thought I'd finished. I felt too weak and dizzy to try to get up and go to my bedroom, so I just lay down on the bathroom floor and fell asleep. The end?..... of course not.
Apparently, I threw up a little in my sleep, because when I woke up, the side of my face lay in a little vomit pool, with a chunk of something green and nasty-smelling about an inch away from my nose. That did it. I scrambled into position at the front of the toilet as fast as I could... but nothing was happening. My stomach still felt really slimy and painful, so I forced a burp, and a gallon of hot, steaming orange-brown vomit poured out of my mouth and splashed not only in the toilet bowl where it was supposed to go, but over most of the rest of the toilet, plus part of the bathroom and me as well. The feel of little chunks of food still in my mouth made me ! retch two more times. (Very uneven pukes-- the first was a huge mouthful of half-digested chunks and the other was runny bile-y stuff. Go figure.) When that round stopped, I tried Pepto-Bismol, but it didn't seem to work as the very next retch was that gross pink Pepto color. Boy, was that a hellish week.
Sorry that was so long... but I figured if you're coming to this forum, you must've wanted to share in my misery :)
Man, was I ever sick this past Fourth of July! After a whole day of fun in the sweltering sun, too much greasy barbecue ribs and not nearly enough liquid, I got a terrible headache. That's when I learned to be cautious to drink enough water on a hot day as those who work outdoors are already aware. We all ate the barbecue for lunch and at the time I felt just peachy-keen. No problemo. Then we played volleyball for a couple of hours and that's when I developed my headache. It grew worse and worse and I started feeling sick so I just sat in a lawn chair underneath the pavillion. I bummed some tylenol from a friend but it didn't seem to help so I just sat there retching and trying to keep down my stomach contents until the supper charcoal was beginning to be lit. The supper planned was thick juicy flamebroiled steaks and baked potatoes with plenty of beer for all. I was feelin' sick but I got my plate anyway and sat down with my friends but I just couldn't eat as my retching ???? was refusing to accept the thought of food. They asked me what was wrong and I told them I had a sick headache and wasn't hungry. I drank some iced tea but I certainly didn't want anything to eat. I felt like I might start throwing up at any second but I just sat there a while and tried hard not to let it happen. The smell of the food, delicious to a healthy person, was making me feel sicker. I really became nauseated at the table so I excused myself and went behind the bushes in back of the volleyball area to hide because I knew it was about to happen, and it did. My head had a terrible ache and the smell of barbecue was in the air. It was horrible. I got down on my hands and knees and all at once I offered up a burp to notify my stomach of my intent to surrender and let it all out. I drooled saliva, and soon everything I had to eat gushed out violently onto the ground forming a puddle. I stayed right there for ages until a couple of my best friends came over and basically ! started being extra, extra nice to me--hey, I was the best spiker on the volleyball team! When I was able to stop throwing up they brought me back under the pavillion, removed my shoes and made me drink water because they said it was probably just dehydration and heat exhaustion causing me to feel like that. They were right. After I drank a couple cups of water and some aspirin I laid down and they put a ziploc bag of ice on my forehead and I felt better after a while; at least I didn't feel quite as terrible anymore but I still had a headache though at least I had a little more control of my nausea now where I was able to resist puking. They really were right about the water. Most people would be surprised at how much you actually need to drink when you spend all day outdoors, especially in the summertime.
The other day I came to work sick because I was hung-over from the night before. I was up puking for an hour the night before just before bed so I thought since my stomach must be empty I could handle going to work without an accident. I think if not for the subway ride I would have been okay; those are pretty rough on my stomach even on a normal day. So, here I was with one doozy of a headache and felt like something was going to come up so I went straight to the can, better safe than sorry you know. I stooped over in front of the porcelain and after a few monster burps the puke started pouring out of my mouth over and over again, a bunch at a time. It was terribly disgusting. I closed my eyes and pinched my nose shut because I didn't want to look at or smell it; that would make it all the worse for me. I stopped briefly but then the whole thing started again. When I felt like I finally got it all out of me I flushed the toilet but I made the mistake of looking at th! e toilet one last time as I was leaving the stall and seeing the places where it had splattered and I started up with the dry heaves. I stayed at the sink until the dry heaves quit then I washed up a bit and redid my entire makeup. Sure wished I would have had a toothbrush and some toothpaste or at least some breath mints because when I got back to my work area this nice guy that's been after me comes up to me and gives me the usual goodmorning conversation stuff. Then he says "Jeez, what's that stench? Smells like puke in here!". Then I says "Whew, yeah, I wonder where that's coming from". I had to quickly make as if I was very busy so he wouldn't smell my breath and put the pieces together. I still felt crappy so after quitting time so I shelled out the money to take a cab home; call it special treatment in a time of need. Always good to save up a little extra for times like that.
Pregnancy was never a "good time" for me; I puked up everything from the morning sickness, which was all day long. It was so bad, I was at the E.R. several times for severe dehydration, getting I.V. drips, etc. After a while it got to the point that I was losing so much weight, my doctor got worried. I began experimenting with food to find out what tastes the best coming back up. Except for the chunks (meaning you HAVE to chew them up VERY WELL!!), I found that Baby Ruth candy bars were delicious both ways. I had to drive my car in traffic feeling nauseous, and having to go because of the light, went flying around the corner, slamming on the brakes, flinging my door open and am happy to report, didn't get so much as a drop inside the car. The car next to me however was a different story. Since the other cars were now honking their heads off, I had to drive away.
Well, I have another puke stroy to share with you all! This happened to me last Thursday (12/02/99). I g to the gym to work out twice a week. I usually walk a mile on the track and then spend 30 to 45 minuets on the raquetball court. (I am usually by myself praticing). Well anyway, I was in the raquetball room and really knocking the ball around hard when I started to feel myself getting real hot. I ignored this however and just kept swinging away. 15 minutes later I could suddenly feel my breakfast slowly rising up in my throat. I figured the it was just a little indigestion. No big deal. Right? I swallowed it back down and then imeadiately after that it happened! Instantly I got hit with this huge wave of nausea that just came out of nowhere! I knew that I was about to throw up! I turned toward the door but that is as far as I got. My stomach leapt into this inward-upward thrusting movement and my mouth was for!ced open by the ceral, milk, english muffin and coffee which I h! ad eaten eariler that morning!!! My puke hit the hard wooden floor with a sp!lat!!! The sickening sound bounced off all four walls! I soon had a large puddle of chunky puke infront of my feet. It smelled SO bad that I almost barfed again from just the oder! Later on that day I went to work but had to leave early because I started to feel nauseious again. When I got home I went into the bathroom and puked again! I had puked a total of three times that day!!! (The last episode of which ending in those wonderful dry heaves that we all just love so much)!!! Needless to say, it was a bad day for me!
Michael ("Newlywed's Husband)
Ha Ha. I have to laugh about turkeyday '99 now but the ordeal written by my wife wasn't so funny while it was happening. I've witnessed her motion sickness before but this last time was the only time she actually went for all nine and puked! I knew something bad was in store when she told me to pull into a place with a bathroom. She said she had to vomit bad. You can imagine how embarrassed I was after she stormed into the MEN'S room? I went in and locked the door behind me. Next thing I know I'm standing in a gigantic puddle of yak! Next, the smell hit me, and gosh but it stank like nobody's business, smelled like rotten cheese only stronger. I almost got sick, too. I was completely mesmerized as I witnessed her adding to the mess. It was a pretty gruesome sight and she made the awfulest sounds imaginable. It was, let's see, the best way to describe it is to imagine a series of long, deep tone belches mixed in "gock" sounds with the squeal of a pig and a buzzsaw thro! wn in for good measure. The puke forcibly ejected out of her mouth with a good deal of pressure, I'd say in the neighborhood of 50 p.s.i. She was all pale in her face and trembling and she had me worried there for a while. It looked like easily a near gallon of the stuff we were standing in with more constantly being cranked out. I was amazed someone that skinny could hold such a big amount in her stomach. You could see it slowly running down the little drain hole in the floor and dripping off the sides of the toilet. Poor thing could barely remain standing on her own so I helped to hold her up. I found myself wishing I hadn't eaten so much either as I watched helplessly. The clerk was somewhat of a jerk, pounding on the door and telling me the men's room was for men only, ect. "Leave us alone, my wife's not feeling well and there's some B*%&# occupying the womens' room, what else can we frickin' do!!". He left us alone then. The puke was everywhere and in the end cost us each a pair of new shoes and a set of mats for the car. Next year we plan to spend the night at my inlaws' house to make sure this kind of thing won't happen again in the future. And by the way I'm making HER drive next year!
A thanksgiving story of me!! well, it all started when my fiance and I decided to go to her parents house for the holidays. i was ready, and excited, and Eden was too, since she hasn't been home in about 6 months. so of course, the drive there is about 12 hours, but surprizingly Eden only had to pull over once for me to vomit ( i have BAD motion sickness), and that was because i was reading in the car. so it was a good trip. Eden's parents live out in the middle of nowhere and have a horse and cattle ranch, so i was looking forward to a old fasioned thanksgiving. when we arrived, her 5 brothers and her parents came racing out to see us, and invited up inside.
we relaxed and had a good time, and i was very busy trying to make a good impression on Eden's father. Turkey day finally arrived, and it was great. the food was wonderful, and everything just seemed so neat with the whole family there, and i felt totally excepted into the family. during dinner, i conversed with her father, and had him laughing at my jokes and nodding thoughtfully at my "brillient answers" about bill clinton, the dallas cowboys, and so on. i was careful not to say anything wrong. then after dinner, it was announced that we would go on a horse drawn wagon ride. I was the perfect gentleman, and Eden was very proud of me.
so we went on the wagon. it swayed. and swayed. no one told me that the wagon would do that. back and forth. over and over. ugh. i started to get so queasy and nauseated. i thought longingly of the bonine that was in my suitcase, and remembered all the food i had just consumed. i swear that i went green. i was still trying to hold an intelligent conversation with her father (who by this point loved me)when i started to gag a little. Eden shot me a glance like: "Don't screw this up", and i tried to get control of me stomach, while listening to her father drone on and on. i swallowed firmly, then felt my belly jump. fluid flooded my mouth and tasted like corn, turkey and fruit salad. i swallowed again, and broke into a coughing fit. Eden's father looks at me and says: "Whats wrong with you, boy?"
"nothing", i managed to choke out. i felt so icky drinking it back like that. i burped, and her father thumped me on the back laughing jollily. thats when i froze, waiting for the inevitable. another thump, then...
aaarawwhhhh!! i puked so violently that i was thrown forward. all the vomit was brown of course, but also looked green. probably the peas. i closed my eyes and listened to Eden's calm voice as she issued everyone out of wagon. her father lifted me up and hollored at me, saying: "why din't you say you were sick boy? ya ruined my wagon!" he all of a sudden became a blur, and i retched all over his face, the first time that i have ever projectile vomited. he sputtered and was only so glad to toss me out of his wagon, where i lay heaving helplessly on the grass.
well, to sum things up, i was puking sick for the next 2 days, more out of miserable embarressment, than anything. i kept vomiting, until there was nothing left but yellow bile and it hurt my throat. her father has told me that he will never EVER forgive me, but says its ok if i marry Eden anyway. and i will NEVER NEVER EVER go on any sort of wagon again.
Newlywed (in reply to req. for T/Giving Disaster)
Someone asked for a Thanksgiving disaster? Well here's what happened to me. It had nothing to do with the meal, I just got stricken with a little "traveler's stomach" from the car ride up to Ma's house where we celebrated. I get carsick on rare occasions and when it hits, it really does a big number to my stomach. I drove there so I was alright, but my husband did the driving on the way back. I always get sick more easily if I'm not the one doing the driving, and a full stomach didn't help the situation. I'm ususally o.k. if I drive and don't eat much. To make a long story short(er), we headed for home with our stomachs full of very rich foods and desserts. Lots of it. On the floor in front of my seat was a large bag that Ma had packed for us to take home for snacks throughout the coming week. She'd packed us a lot of ham and turkey to make sandwiches, lots of my favorite cheesecake, assorted pies, ect. Well, anyways after riding about an hour I began to get the first! symptoms of motion sickness. My head became slightly achy, dizzy, I felt sleepy, I was getting an upset stomach and I just didn't want to ride anymore. My husband, by the way, drives in almost a reckless manner with quick takeoffs, quick, jerky stops and passes everything going under 80 mph. He's crazy, but I love 'im to death. Next thing I know, more symptoms which included wishing I hadn't eaten so much (I ate a LOT), my headache was now a pounding migraine, and my mouth kept filling up with yucky spit which I had to swallow-that only made my stomach feel more full which made the task of refraining from vomiting all the more challenging for me. Pretty gross. The smell of the food in the bag was more than I could stand so I tossed the whole thing out the window! He was pissed initially and we argued until I told him I did it only because I felt sick from riding and the smell was only making it worse. We still had a considerable way to go so I asked him to pull into the! next place with a bathroom because I was reaaly carsick now and felt like I was going to (Brwekkk!!) puke any second("Be AFRAID, be VERRRRY afraid!). At this point I knew I was going to do it for sure, it was just a matter of time. It was like No way outta' this one, you're gonna barf! We reached a gas station and it had the bathrooms on the inside. I had very little time to decide whether to just do what I had to do in the parking lot or take a chance on the women's room being UNoccupied. I opted to be sick like a thoroughly modern, twentieth century lady of dignity with all the modern conveniences so we went inside. As murphy's law would have it, the women's restroom was occupied and locked. A sudden squirt of vomit filled my mouth as I tried to stifle a burp and there was plenty more on the way so I did the only logical thing I could think of. I slapped my hand over my mouth then I RUSHED INTO THE *MEN'S BATHROOM*!!!!!!!!! This is the most outrageous, radical thin! g I've ever done in my entire life. It was the ultimate unthinkable deed. The last thing I remember is hearing the clerk shout "Hey maam you can't go in th.....!" (Yeah, you'd rather I puke all over the salesfloor where the other customers can see and join in with me?!!!) I got in there just in time and blew turkey-dressing-ham-mashed potato-gravy-corn-peas-carrot-macaronicheese-yeastroll-butter-pie-icecream-cheesecake-eggnog spewage all over the floor, sink, everything. I made it to the toilet for the rest of the vomiting although I couldn't really control where it went. Real bummer. Mostly I hit the rim at the rear of the toilet and the bulk of it ended up on the floor anyway. At least I tried. I'd also ruined the whole roll of toilet paper because I grabbed onto it for support as I leaned over with the hand that'd I'd used to cover my mouth . I hadn't bothered to close the door and soon my husband came in, closed the door and stayed by my side through the whole ordeal! . I'm glad--I felt so miserable but him being there gave me a good deal of moral support. My hubby is indeed one rare specimen. He stood close behind me as he hugged me around my stomach and gently rubbed my neck. I just kept throwing up uncontrollably all over the place, made horrible retching noises and I was crying, not just because I felt so miserable but because I was afraid I'd get slapped by some violation of the law for going into the men's room. I was still paranoid about it for a couple of days. I wanted to get out of there as soon as possible! I threw up until my ribs ached. I was still dry heaving and since I wasn't bringing anything else up I pursuaded him "Let's just go. I wanna <brukkk!>get out of here please let's just <bweppp!> get the f*%# outta here now". So we made no attempt at cleaning the stinking mess I'd made, he simply walked me back out to the car, ignoring the irrate glances from the clerk who'd probably be stuck with mopping up my! slightly used feast. Luckily, even though I'd messed up the bathroom pretty severely, I'd at least managed to not soil my jeans; however, we both had stepped and stood in the mess I'd made on the floor in the bathroom at the gas station so in the end we had to buy new mats for the car. We left our shoes outside before coming into the house, that's a given I suppose. I was o.k. after a good nights sleep so don't worry. Well, all in all, that's my thanksgiving horror story from me to you. Hope it wasn't too gross but I didn't want to leave anything out (I'm a student of journalism and this is good practice). Merry Christmas.
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